Automatic Age

T
he
A
u t o m a t ic
Sam — "Where were you las’
night?”
“ May and I went coupay-
Sam—“ Big time I suppose?”
'
a„ 7 ° c~~J"Fair. May did the cooing
and I did the paying.”
t ®e—“ Will you love me when my
is silver?”
She—“ Yes— if you still have a lit­
e gold with it.”
j
—“ It's easy to weigh fish,
S1U it, Hr. Shadd?”
; "^aler—“ Because they’re already
n *ne scales.”
An enterprising coal dealer, some-
^hat Prone to air his alleged knowl-
edg,
tli
011 every possible occasion, had
Ca®^°H°wing
ing printed on his busi
business
Coal delivered a la carte or coal
de sac.’
Those Foreign Coins
tery^7,a^*s the charge on this
“ tr^ y Tolts‘”
How much is that in
es money?”— Rice Owl.
bat-
United
Tv> ^ len Freak Meets Freak
^ the only time a horse gets scared
. ’Wadays is when he meets another
rse.—New Jersey Motorist.
A
75
ge
Optimism
“ Want to take a chance on an au­
tomobile, mister? Only a dollar.”
"But I don’t want an automobile,
young man.”
“ Thats all right, mister. Maybe
you won’t get it.”
Best in Brevity
An automobile halted by the curb
and a pedestrian addressed the
driver:
"Your
pneumatic
contrivance,”
said he, “ has ceased to function.”
"Whazzat?” barked the motorist.
“ I say, your tubular air container
has lost its rotundity.”
“ Brother,” said the man in the au­
tomobile, “ I don’t getcha.”
“ I mean to say,” explained the
other, "that the cylindrical apparatus
which supports your vehicle is no
longer inflated.”
“ But------ ”
1
"The elastic fabric surrounding
the circular frame whose successive
revolutions bear you onward in space
has not retained its pristine round­
ness.”
“ Say------” began the motorist—
when there came another voice:
"Hey, mister!” it said. “ You’ve
got a flat tire!”
GLASSINE BAGS
TT E D ^ E M B O S S E D
PE A N U T S ^ ,
P O TA TO C HI P S
B A K E R Y GOODS
PO P C O RN ^/
C A N ----------------
S e n d F o r S a m p le s a n d P r i c e s
PAPER G O O D S CO.
LAKE STREET
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CHICAGO, ILL.
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