Presto

August 6, 1927.
P R E S T 0-TI M E S
MIRRHA ALHAMBRA PRIZES
HER CHRISTMAN GRAND
Internationally Known Pianist and Singer
Writes Warm Letter of Appreciation of
Studio Grand to Makers.
THINGS SAID OR SUGGESTED
THE HOUSE SALE
LURE.
Flyman Kronick, wlio does a lively business with
M. Schulz Co. pianos in the Thirty-fourth Ward in
Chicago, met an old friend on Roosevelt road one
day last week.
"Well, Spilky, how's the button business?" he
asked by way of greeting.
"I've quit it and gave up mein store. A musical
business I got it now. Such a fine business, too," he
replied proudly.
"Musical business! I thought you said you gave
up your store?"
"'Sure I have. What for T keep a store for my
music business! My music business is different from
buttons, y' understand."
"1 don't get you," insisted the piano salesman.
"Well, 1 go by the piano store and buy a piano
for ten, fifteen, twenty dollar. Get it moved by my
flat and then sell it for maybe fifty with signs by the
front window. Velvet! 1 '
"Oh, lure of the house sale!" exclaimed the piano
salesman. "Back to the buttons. Spilky! I'm sur-
prised you should quit a regular business for the
con."
"What for con? Ain't my piano business regular
as buttons?"
''Nix. No five or ten dollar piano is regular.
Funny piano you can buy at that price."
"So! Well. 1 got one now by my Hat which I
paid for four dollars yesterday and sold today for
thirty already. A regular piano, y' understand."
"Regular, huh!"
"Yes, Kronick, regular. Mit four legs and by it
you can play music like a professor yet."
"Good night. Back to the buttons, Spilky!"
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H 1
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CATALOGS
1. What is a catalog?
A catalog is a handsome pamphlet, beautifully
printed, profusely illustrated and gotten up expen-
sively in every way.
2. How many kinds of catalogs are there?
The kinds are so many that, set down in figures,
the sum would look like an astronomical calculation.
In the piano trade, however, there are only two
kinds—the piano catalog and the playerpiano catalog.
3. Are the kinds rigidly fixed at two?
Yes, but each kind has three distinct varieties:
The stammer in type, the average catalog, and the
good-as-they-make-'em catalog.
4. What is the stammer in type?
The stammer is something you can best describe
with indelicacies of language and mixed metaphors.
In brief, it is a thing with wordy innards, ninety-nine
per cent of which is vermiform appendix.
5. What is an average catalog?
An average catalog is one free from split inhnitives
and typographical errors: full of beautiful cuts and
denatured English and empty of selling arguments.
(>. What is a good-as-they-make-'em catalog?
A good-as-they-make-'em catalog is one worded
with a punch that lands on the spot every time. It
fully, simply and interestingly describes the com-
modity it treats of, and is usually written by a man
who values sense more than style.
7. How far do the varieties go towards fulfilling
the object for wmich catalogs are designed?
The stammer reaches the trade in time but dies
with a groan when somebody tries to cut out its
veriform appendix with a blunt brain fag. The aver-
age catalog sets bravely out and goes part of the
way towards fulfilling its purpose. The good-as-they-
make-'em catalog fascinatingly invites perusal by the
power of its opening words; like an able salesman,
pulls without preaching; convincingly conveys a per-
fect comprehension of the instrument described, and
arouses a well-defined and serious desire for further
investigation.
8. Why is a stammer?
A stammer is, because everything is as clear as
mud to the blind; because nature, abhoring a vacuum,
causes a vermiform appendix to sprout where there
was nothing to fill with; because the writer with the
mental stammer needs the money.
9. How is an average catalog?
An average catalog is how the piano points are
scrambled. Also how in thunder the author has the
gall to collect the price.
10. What are piano catalog cuts?
For the most part they are full-face portraits of
uprights and profile portraits of grands reproduced
in halftone, so-called because half the tones are lost.
The piano cut is made from a photograph which
fairly represents the piano au natural. When re-
touched, the photograph represents the price of all
the time the engraving house artist can put in at the
job without being arrested for highway robbery.
11. Hut is not the artist's part an important one
in making a catalog?
Very much so. Artists design the beautiful covers
and also the charming ornaments and borders seen
with reading matter inside. The artist's work is
intended merely as an appropriate setting for the
catalog author's matter. But sometimes, especially
in the case of period grands and other art models,
the catalog is made so sweetly pretty nobody notices
what the well-meaning catalog writer says. 'Tis like
going to hear a grave professor lecture on acoustics
and pneumatics and finding yourself seated alongside
a ravishingly pretty girl. Then good-bye lecture.
* * *
Don't think you are getting ahead of your work
by anticipating your worries.
* * *
An optimist is a man who makes the best of the
worst of it.
Mirrha Alhambra, the famous pianist, is the owner
of a Christman Studio Grand, and how she appre-
ciates it is told in the following letter to the Christ-
man Piano Co., New York.
"Gentlemen: 1 greatly appreciate the tone quali-
ties of my Christman Studio Grand just purchased
from you. Much success to the Christman company.
"MIRRHA ALHAMBRA."
Although Mirrha Alhambra was born in Paris she
cannot properly be called French, since there is a
MIUKHA
AI.II AMHHA.
mixture in her of Spanish, Russian, and Gallic blood.
She was educated in South America, and traveled
extensively while still young, mastering Spani.ih,
French, Italian, German and English. She began
piano playing at an early age. first studying piano
at the Music Conservatory of Santiago, Chile, where
she was living. So rapidly did she advance that at
the end of her first year she played Beethoven's First
Concerto at the conservatory commencement.
While in Europe, under Anton Gedlicka, she pursued
her musical studies at the Stern Conservatory in
Berlin. There she completed her course and was
awarded a diploma. She then studied privately with
Jose Vianna da Motta, after which she toured
Europe, giving concerts at the principal cities. In
the United States, she gave but two concerts at the
Hotel Majestic, when she decided to join the legiti-
mate stage, where she worked for both Spanish and
American companies. In her leisure time she took
vocal lessons, and before long she joined the Keith
circuit, playing and singing.
BOWEN PIANO LOADER HELPS SALESMEN
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men by furnishing them with the New Bowen Piano Loader, which serves as a wareroom far from the store. It is the only safe
delivery system for dealers, either in city or country. It costs little. Write for particulars.
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Winston-Salem, N. C,
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