Automatic Age

T h e A u t o m a t i c A ge
No Time for Play
The storm had swept some o f the
deck fittings overboard and things
looked so dubious ths cnptain decidcd
t -> send up a distress signal. Just
as he first rocket shot up into the
inky blackness of t'n3 nip-ht
fussy
little man spoke up: “ Captain, I don’t
want to| cast a damper on any man's
high spirits, but this seems like a
helluva time to be setting off fire­
works.”
Anonymity
He: “ How did you keep your do­
nation secret?”
She: “ I sent an anonymous check.”
Proverbs of Turkey
“ I f” and “ when” were planted, and
“ nothing” grew up.
Had Done Enough
“ Fellow citizens,” said the candi­
date, “ I have fought against the In­
dians. I have often had no bed but
the battlefield, and no canopy but the
sky. I have marched over the frozen
ground, till every step has been mark­
ed with blood.
His story told well, tdl a dried-up
looking voter came to the front.
“ Did you say yer’d fought for the
Union?”
“ Yes,” replied the candidate.
“ And again the Indians?”
“ Yes, many a time.”
Orl Pebner
Editor, Druggist: Can you de­
cipher this, we did, “ Oil Verbena” —
Clear as mud.
— Frank Scott, Roseland Pharmacy
The Patriot
“ What have you ever done to show
your patriotism.”
© International Arcade Museum
75
“ Well, I always shoot off two or
three dollars worth of firecrackers
every Fourth o f July.”
Freddy (who has eaten his apple):
“ Let’s play at Adam and Eve.”
Millie: “ How do we do that?”
Freddy: “ You tempt me to eat
your apple, and I give way.”— Edin­
burgh Scotsman.
Contrary to the common impres­
sion, most actual villain are not tall,
dark men, says Francis Carlin, a one­
time famous Scotland Yard detective.
Records o f the Yard show that 76
per cent of the criminals convicted
are blonds, usually tall.
Hundreds o f sacks of wild rice
have been scattered by airplane over
the marshes in the Manitoba north­
land to increase the food supply for
ducks and muskrats.
Athens, Greece, is known as the
“ City of the Violet Crown,” in ref­
erence to the beautiful effects of sun­
set light on the Acropolis.
The use of anaesthetics was taught
to other medical professions by den­
tistry. The use of nitrous oxide,
laughing gas, in the extraction of
teeth, was first attempted by Horace
Wells in 1841.
A survey of tea and coffee imports
shows that more than 73,000,000 per­
sons in the United States are tea and
coffee drinkers. Per capita consump­
tion of coffee for 1926 was two cups
a day or 14 pounds a year, while that
of tea averaged one-half cup every
24 hours, or three-fourths o f a pound
for 12 months.
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