Music Trade Review -- © mbsi.org, arcade-museum.com -- digitized with support from namm.org
THE MUSIC TRADE! REVIEW
advanced, in 1904, $1,225,000 in sums averaging $8. Finally, when
the workman is at the end of his rope and cannot earn, the system
of poor relief is in many respects a model, especially that at Elber-
feld. Briefly, the idea is to exact a return for relief, and to ac-
company monetary assistance with personal sympathy and counsel."
T
HAT was an able address delivered by Hobart M. Cable before
the recent convention of the National Piano Manufacturers'
Association in Chicago. The speaker expressed sentiments which
are well worthy of perusal by every advertiser and every man in-
terested in musico-industrial affairs. Mr. Cable says, in good
straightforward English, trade papers are a necessity and that good
papers, honestly conducted, demand support. He makes the point
that it is not the size of the paper that fixes its place, but the ability,
integrity and cleanliness with which it is conducted. Mr. Cable
pointed out with ability that there is a difference in trade papers
and that the difference should be considered by the advertiser and
he says that a well edited, clean trade paper is of the utmost im-
portance to the industry of which it is a helpful adjunct.
It would seem after perusal of Mr. Cable's article that he was
quite familiar with the policy of The Review in dealing with mat-
ters of trade import.
A
SUBSCRIBER to The Review asked, "What do you consider
the best method of attracting trade and livening up store
during an otherwise dull season?'' We should say broadly, culti-
vate the idea in the minds of your salesmen that there is no dull
season—that there is work to be accomplished just as well in July
as in October, but that it requires a little harder emphasis placed
upon one's efforts to win results when trade is generally dull.
Business men have fallen into the habit of slowing down their ener-
gies during the summer months, and as a result trade of course
shows a tremendous falling off. Now there will be a natural
shrinkage during the heated term, but that shrinkage is frequently
greatly increased by reason of the inactivity and indifference on
the part of the salesmen and merchants. It is a good thing some-
times to advertise when others are not using the papers quite as
largely. In our opinion people are rather closer readers of papers
during the summer and they spend quite as much time in going
over advertisements as during the cooler season when they are
rushed by business. There are always ways and means of stimu-
lating trade by special forms of advertising and by making the
stores unusually attractive, and the one great essential—the one
thing which is paramount to all others—is to cultivate the belief in
the minds of the salesmen that business should be sought just as
persistently during July and August as in any other season of the
year.
T
H E R E are some men who seem over-fond of sounding a wail
of pessimism when trade conditions are sound.
Is the country confronting a period of industrial and trade
depression?
This is a question which business men are asking with con-
siderable solicitude. They are aware that the lack of spring weather
caused contraction in the sale of seasonable goods and that the
comparative stringency of money has checked new enterprises.
The contraction in sales, however, has been attended with noth-
ing more serious than extension of credits obtained against the
unsold goods, and as for the monetary stringency, in so far as it
has put a check upon highly speculative enterprise it has had a
wholesome effect.
More influential, doubtless, in creating uneasiness has been the
drastic decline that has cut one-third off values in the stock market.
For the business community has not yet cut wholly free from the
notion that "Wall street is the barometer" and that its tips and
downs anticipate corresponding movements in industrial and com-
mercial circles. As a matter of fact specific influences affecting
Wall street have in recent years altered its former relation to gen-
eral trade, but something of the old tradition survives.
Thus uncertain as to the outlook, business men as well as in-
vestors and bankers have closely followed the course of the Admin-
istration toward corporations and awaited with keen interest the
utterances of President Roosevelt bearing upon the situation. The
outlook during the past three weeks has improved and business is
now being conducted on a sounder and more conservative basis.
You heard that Mark Twain met King Edward in London? No? Yes?
Well, it is this way.
Whenever King Edward meets an American—especially when he
meets an American humorist—he wants to hear a story, a funny story.
Some there be on this side of the water who allege that King Edward
wouldn't know a funny story if it walked up to him and pulled his
whiskers, but of such is the Clan-na Gael.
Of course, the King wanted to hear Mark Twain say something laugh-
able. Mark lit one of the King's superior cigars and sprang this:
The Tale of the Two Chairs.
"Joseph H. Choate was seated in his law office
one day, when a young man entered ard in a rather
pompous manner announced:
' 'I am John Jones!'
"'Ah!' said the lawyer, 'take a chair.'
" 'Yes,' continued the young man, 'I am the son-
in-law of Gen. Smith.'
"'Indeed!' replied Mr. Choate, bowing low. 'Take
two chairs!'"
His 'Ighness was pop-eyed but game. He was just about to inquire if
Mr. Choate's caller was a Siamese twin or something on that order, don't
you know, when our beloved humorist cut loose with the following:
The Water Route to Heaven.
"A negro exhorter at a great revival in the South
shouted:
"'Come up, and jine de army ob de Lord!'
" 'Ise done jined,' replied one of the congregation.
" 'Whar'd you jine?' asked the preacher.
" 'Baptis' church.'
" 'Wy, chile,' replied the exhorter, 'yoh ain't in
de army—yoh's in de navy!' "
This one sent the King to the ropes, but he re-
turned as gamely as an old man could. Just as he had framed a question
relative to the connection between a baptism and a battleship, the merci-
less humorist handed out one that had never failed:
3)
C±r* i , ^ ^ ^
And This Old Timer, Too.
"Abe White, a Virginia darkey, was arrested on
suspicion of having stolen chickens. When he was
brought before the squire the next morning he was
asked:
" 'Abe, are you the defendant in this case?'
" 'No, sah, Yo' Honor,' replied Abe. 'Ise de man
what stoled de chickens.' "
The King started toward a push button in the wall
to summon the captain.of the guards. Twain headed
him off. His Majesty's rubicund countenance was wrinkled into lines of
perplexity. Bracing himself with a palpable effort he prepared for
the next.
Wise Little Johnny Jones.
"A school teacher was lecturing on natural history and told how the
English sparrows had been imported to kill the worms on the trees
in the parks.
" 'The sparrows,' she said, 'have become almost
as numerous as the worms were.'
"Noticing that Johnny Jones was inattentive, she
suddenly asked:
"Now, Johnny, which do you think are the worst
—the worms or the sparrows?'
" 'Don't know,' answered Johnny, 'I never had the
sparrows.' "
At the mention of English sparrows, King Edward
perceptibly brightened. He imagined he was going to hear something
that would allow him to twit Mark Twain with being a nature faker. As
the story proceeded, tears filled the royal eyes and at the wind-up he
was weeping.
"Was there not something of that kind in a song in the Mikado?" he
inquired.
Mark Twain disdained to answer, but hurried along to the fifth yarn.
- "
Djever Hear This One?
"My friend, Senator Depew, boarded a street car
one day. A politician was with him and the Senator
handed the conductor ten cents.
"A block or two further on, the conductor went
through the car again and Depew handed him an-
other dime.
" 'But I have your fares already,' protested the con-
ductor.
"I know it,' answered Depew, 'this money is for
the company.' "
"I thought Mr. Depew had told me everything," sobbed the King,
"but he never told me that. Is it true that Mr. Depew rides in a tram?"
"There was a time in New York not long ago," responded Mark,
"when they wouldn't have let him aboard a car on the Canal street cross-
town line. But here is one, Your Majesty, that I am sure will hit you
in Buckingham Palace—in other words, right where you live."
And then, pitilessly, he put another one over the plate.—N. Y. World.