Presto

PRESTO
presto
THE AMERICAN MUSIC TRADE WEEKLY.
Published Every Saturday at 417 South Dearborn
Street, Chicago, Illinois.
C. A. DAN1ELL and FRANK D. ABBOTT -
Editors
Telephones, Local and Long Distance, Harrison 234.
Private Phones to all Departments. Cable Address (Com-
mercial Cable Co.'s Code), "PRESTO," Chicago.
Entered as second-class matter Jan. 29, 1896, at the
Post Office, Chicago, Illinois, under Act of March 3, 1879.
Subscription, $2 a year; 6 months, $1; Foreign, $4.
Payable In advance. No extra charge in United States
possessions, Cuba and Mexico. Rates for advertising on
application.
Items of news and other matter are solicited and if
of general interest to the music trade will be paid for
at space rates. Usually piano merchants or salesmen
in the smaller cities are the best occasional corre-
spondents, and their assistance is invited.
Forms close at noon every Thursday. News mat-
ter should be in not later than eleven o'clock on the
same day. Advertising copy should be in hand before
Tuesday, five p. m., to insure preferred position. Full
page display copy should be in hand by Monday noon
preceding publication day. Want advs. for current
week, to insure classification, must not be later than
Wednesday noon.
Address all communications for the editorial or business
departments to PRESTO PUBLISHING CO., 417 South
Dearborn Street, Chicago, III.
SATURDAY, MARCH 29, 1924.
NO TRADE-IN PROBLEM
It is pretty generally agreed that the trade-
in—the used and near useless piano—is the
bete noir of the piano trade. And if it is that
to the trade, it must be also to the industry.
So that one of the serious problems in the
piano business of "the future, even more than
the present, is what to do with the heirlooms
of our forebears.
Most people of the future generations will
own pianos, just as a large proportion of the
people of today do own pianos. And because
it has become a fetish that: a piano is as im-
mortal as the human soul—almost absolutely
imperishable—the trade of today is struggling
to find a solution of the trade-in "problem."
For many years the piano manufacturers
vied one with another in the effort to impress
upon the world that their instruments were
everlastingly proof against the wear and tear
of time, with all of time's use and abuse,
neglect and decay. The result was that, finally,
whereas originally pianos were warranted
for three years, then five, they were loudly
announced as of indefinite or endless guaran-
tee. That was the final folly in warranties.
It was in defiance of both common sense and
good business.
But even worse than the deathless war-
ranty of something which, like life itself, be-
gins to die the moment it is born, or made,
was the faith which is the result of associa-
tion and lack of observation. The owner of
a piano can no more see the gradual fading
from pristine beauty of case and tone, than
the loving wife or husband can realize the
steady but slow oncoming of age, and its in-
firmities, in the features of the daily comrade
and mate. And so the piano is still "as good
as new," even after it has become a jangling
wreck of wood and metal.
What is the answer? It may seem to some
as it does to us, that no prizes are needed
to discover the solution of the best disposition
to make of the trade-ins. It is, plainly enough,
to be found in the custom which holds in many
other lines of trade and always has held. It
is to destroy the old things after they have
become so useless that even the ones who
treasure them because of long association see
no value in them.
In earlier days, when the family "buggy"
became rickety, it was destroyed. Today 1 ,
when the auto grows shabby and the motor
refuses to work, it is destroyed But the
piano, however ancient and strident, is seri-
ously appraised, and the dealer takes it in at
a price so near to that of the new one he sells
as to make the transaction ludicrous. On the
contrary, if the dealer would frankly tell the
"prospect" that the old piano is not worth its
weight at the price of old iron, in time the
trade-in problem would solve itself.
It might be possible for the Music Indus-
try Chamber of Commerce to do a good thing
in this connection. Instead of the great ex-
pense of the music week, why not devote the
money and effort to getting the trade-in out
of the way? Have a week every now and
then during which all trade-ins would be de-
stroyed and the dealers compensated to the
extent of their "sacrifice." It would stimu-
late trade to a greater degree than could be
possible by any other plan. The details might
demand a good deal of trouble, but not more
than such uncertain contributions to business
possibilities as the music weeks, the band con-
tests and publication of abstruse books on
music advancement which are put forth, at
much expense and no direct help to piano
selling.
The only w r ay to get rid of the trade-in is
to get rid of it. And the only w r ay to get rid
of it is to destroy the useless old pianos just
as soon as the dealers take them in. We'd
like to see the 7 "schedule of values" of trade-
ins made to mean the remuneration allowed
by the general association of manufacturers
and merchants to the dealers who, in order to
do business, are obliged to take them as part
payment for new pianos. Some such plan
would help both dealers and manufacturers—
and manufacturers more than dealers. It's
really no problem at all, this of the trade-in.
OFFER A MILLION
March 29, 1924.
even Wagner's Gotterdamerung, if their
breath holds out. But we suggest a better
way.
Why not divert attention from Teapot Dome
and the Bok Peace Plan by offering a million
dollar prize for a real national anthem? Mil-
lions of dollars are wasted every year in
schemes that do no good. Why not a million
put where it would be certain to do endless
good—good for patriotism, for the country,
and for God Himself? A nation without a
suitable song is a nation almost divided against
itself. Let it have every bit of musical genius
inspired to its utmost in the creation of a
national song that will live and really ring
down through the ages. For that a million
dollars will still be too little.
PRESTOLAFS AND PARAGRAFS
No Work at All.
A successful piano salesman has a little son who
when asked where his papa was, replied: '"At the
store."
"Well, papa's a hard worker, isn't he?"
"Oh, no, my papa doesn't work; he sells pianos!"
* * *
"How did March come in for you?" asks the Story
& Clark Story Book. Ah, yes, and how did Come In
March for you?
* * *
The Very Latest.
"Have you seen the latest playerpiano improve-
ment?"
"PerJiaps. What is it?"
"Our new patented foot-shaped pedals, by which
the feet are obliged to turn outward when pumping,
thus overcoming the ungraceful habit people have of
toeing in when they walk!"
* * *
At the Player.
(Somewhat After Mark Twain.)
Pump, sister, pump, and pump with glee.
Pump in the presence of the companee;
Pump in the morning some sweet melodcc;
Pump in the evening and right merrilce;
Pump, sister, pump, and pump full and free,
Pump in the presence of the companee.
* * *
"You say this piano is absolutely best in this
world."
"Certainly. In the other place it wouldn't last a
minute. It isn't fireproof!"
* * *
Prospect—"It's your judgment that radio helps
music?"
Dealer—"It sure does; half the saxophones in our
block have been silenced since the Zenith came in."
* * *
Again, and for the hundredth time, the
wrangling about "Star Spangled Banner" as
our national anthem has broken forth. And
this time a dignified senator in a Prince Albert The Banjo:
coat, attacks a well-known lady leader in
Plink, plonk! happy all the while,
Christian Science, because she dares to say
Plonk, plink, see my merry smile;
Dinkey-donk, dink, dank, hear the autos honk;
that "Oh, say," is not a fit song for a great
Donky-dink, danky-dink, quicker than a wink,
people to adopt for its very own.
Plink, plonk,
Dinky donk,
There are many very highly cultured people
Donk!
who will say that the lady was right, and the
'dignified statesman wrong, in their estimates The Jewsharp:
Tinkle, crinkle, gee! Not a melodee.
of the song which fewer still can sing well,
Pinkie, zinkle, zee! Buzzing like a bee;
and as freely as the anthem of a free country
Twinkle, brinkle, zim, what you think of him?
should be shouted. All of the "long-drawn
Brinkle, twinkle, bim, spilling o'er the rim,
discussions and the habit of forcing patriotic
Ooie, zim!
Ziminy, zim,
sitters to stand when the band plays, has not
Zim!
yet proved conclusively that the music to the
(To be Continued.)
song is suitable. Not nearly all of those who
* * *
Dealer—"You won the sale by a mile, as usual, I
gladly rise to their feet when the tune starts
can sing it. They may start it, but when that suppose?"
"No, but by two feet, 1 did!"
awkward high note is reached they drop out
"My, you must have pumped bard!"
t- * #
or their voices crack.
A
Player
Sale.
Many great men have said that "Star
Improved
with
Use.
Spangled Banner" is our national song or
"A century hence, you have my word,
should be so declared. Theodore Roosevelt
The tone will fascinate whoever hears."
said so. So, we believe, did General Grant.
"Ah, yes! But then I can't afford
To wait," the prospect said, "a hundred years!"
But neither the Colonel nor the General could
sing it. It is possible that the senator who
OPENS AT SALINA, KANS.
assailed the lady for criticizing the song can
John B. Terry, recently opened a new music store
sing it, high notes and all. We know that the
at 713 Bishop street, Salina; Kan., and has installed a
bands can play it, for they can play anything, fine stock of pianos and playerpianos.
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