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- JHELAST WORD A conversation with the diminutive one o this is the White House . Pretty buzz my new Secretary of the impressive place. 'Tl! tell Pres- Treasury. Sorry, Mr. Caire. Gotta run! " ident Clinton you're here, Mr. Caire," I waited in the foyer for what seemed said the staffer. "He's just wrapping up like an eternity. Then, from around the a cabinet meeting in the other room." corner, I heard clipped speech in a Even with the door shut I could hear Southern drawl. Oh no, could it be ... "Where is he , where's Caire? the newly elected president leading a cheer. "OK, repeat after me: what do Where?" 'Tm right here, Mr. Perot. It's very we want?" nice to meet you." "FAIRNESS!" "Likewise, son, but I don't have much "How do we get it?" time. See, the people insisted that Presi"TAX AND SPEND! " "Whew, ya'll are enthusiastic this dent Clinton put me in charge of the morning. Ambassador Jackson, who Treasury , what with my financial are you meeting with today at the wizardry and all. I'm their servant. Got a big mess to clean up, big mess. When United Nations?" "The ambassador to Iraq . I've I'm d-:me here I'm supposed to help already told him , ' Hussein wants other industries fix their problems , Kuwait? Ain't that great!' After that I'm since I have all the answers. But I'm going to have borscht with Yeltsin at happy to do it. Did I tell you I was a servant?" the Russian Tea Room." "Good job, Jesse. Well, ifya'll will ex"Yes sir, you did. Why don't we sit cuse me , I've got to meet with a over here and I'll tell you some of the member of the press." issues facing the coin machine in"Who is it , Mr . President? Sam dustry." "Fine. OK, you comfortable? Shoot! Donaldson? Dan Rather? " asked Madonna, the new chairman of the Na- Fire away! Go! " "Well, Mr. Perot, there's the issue of tional Endowment for the Arts. " No , he's with the trade press. what we call video lottery. Many states Name's Caire; the coin-op amusement are considering video lottery as a way industry is his beat. I figured I'd give to raise tax dollars , and coin machine some time to the little guys. You know, operators want to be sure that they're involved. If the states run video lottery the populism thing. " Just as President Clinton emerged without operators it could mean the from the inner sanctum, he was hur- demise of many small businesses . riedly rushed off by an aide. "Mr. Presi- And-" "Stop right there , son. It's simple: dent, we've got a potential situation brewing at the Pentagon. The generals your operators need to march on the are hopping mad at your new Defense state capitals and let these politicians Secretary, Patricia Schroeder. They know that they are the servants, see? say they can't fight a war with rifles And servants have to do what their masters want. You want involvement and slingshots. " "Oh heavens, they must've gotten in video lottery, you got it. Next. " "But Mr. Perot, it's not quite that simwind of the proposed budget cuts. I better get over there. Oh, Mr. Caire. Let me . pie. We need to-" "Next, I said! " think .. .! know who you can meet with "Sorry. The dollar coin is also importo discuss your industry. Miss Jones, PLAY METER 190 DECEMBER 1992 tant to the industry . We've been pushing for it for some time now, but so far it's stalled in Congress." "It's the same thing; piece of cake. These jokers in Washington are your representatives, your servants. Damn, son , are you listening? Look at me when I'm talking to you, boy! You go back and tell your people to demand a dollar coin; that's all it takes. Simple." "But sir, they have been aggressively pursuing it. " "But have they demanded it? See, you people don't know how to play the game. Enough of that. Anything else? I'm kind of in a hurry." "Well, there's the telecommu nications threat posed by the 'Baby Bells'; the ongoing price-per-play issue; the effect of Indian gaming on amusement game revenues; the counterfeiting of popular video games like Street Fighter II; speed-up/ enhancement kits; and generally, how to stay appealing to the public in an ever-expanding technological age." "That sounds like a lot of issues, but just remember this: if your industry sticks together and does what's best for everyone, not just each person's own selfish interests, there 's nothing that can't be overcome. Is that all?" "Yes sir, I guess that's all." "Fine. Have a safe trip back to New Orleans. Love your city. Igo to a barber there who tells the funniest Cajun jokes. Anyway, be well." The White House. What a place. Now if Hillary would just do something about those drapes . D Christopher Caire Features Editor