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- THE LAST WORD Watch those rascals I received a Federal Express package yesterday from Florida. It was sent by someone identified only as "The Mole. " Inside was an audio cassette tape marked " exclusive," with the following note attached: "Chris, I'm an operator here in Florida. A friend of mine who's training to be a CIA agent did me a big favor. He planted a hidden microphone in a closed-door meeting of the Legislature's Joint Budgetary Committee this past spring. I think you'll find the tape interesting." Hmmm. How interesting could a meeting of state legislators be, especially when their attention was turned to number-crunching? Being a slow morning, I popped the cassette in and listened half-heartedly. Crackle. Hiss. The shuffling of papers. Finally, a voice. "Gentlemen, it looks like we're about $112 million in the red. This budget has got to be balanced, or we're going to have hell to pay. Do any of you see any fat that can be cut from the proposed budget?" "Well, Mr. Chairman, I for one think we've got too much money set aside for the University of Florida. Why should we give all that money to a university? All colleges do these days is fill young minds with subversive ideas. One group is picketing to save the Amazon rain forest, while another boycotts the cafeteria because it serves food too high in saturated fat. Do we want to give monetary aid to this sort of activity? And besides, their football team hasn't been to the Sugar Bowl in years!" "Senator, I can appreciate your concern, but if we cut back our expenditure to the university, we'll get fried PLAY METER 142 OCTOBER1991 on the editorial pages and in the court of public opinion." "Mr. Chairman, I have it, I have it! Why don't we levy some new taxes instead of cutting? I propose a 'citrus tax,' if you will. Let's have the orange growers pay a quarter-cent tax on every one of their oranges. It will raise so much money that we'll be awash in black ink. " "It will also put thousands out of work and destroy our biggest cash crop, you simple-minded idiot! What district sent you up here?" Then came the voice that prompted The Mole's Federal Express package. "Excuse me, gentlemen, but are you aware of the money being made by the coin machine industry? You know, the Pac-Man guys? Well, as I understand it, this industry is making a killing from that game and others. I've also read where pinball machines are making a comeback, and pool tables and jukeboxes are in bars all over the state of Florida. Why don't we put a tax on the gross receipts emanating from these machines?" "That sounds good, but are you sure the downturn in the economy hasn't hurt that industry? As I understand it, the video game market is soft. I don't think we'd raise much money from this gross receipts tax, and besides, it would be unfair to place such a heavy burden on those operators." "Operators? You mean the guys who own the machines and lease them to locations?" "No. I'm talking about the lessees, the bar and convenience store owners who allow the machines in their locations ." "Wait a minute. We better decide just who the operator is before we pass such a tax. It might cause confusion later." "Baloney. The clock is ticking, and we've got to balance this budget. I propose that we levy a 7.81 percent gross receipts tax for all coin-operated machines in t he state of Florida. Let's take a vote. " Pause. "The yeas have it." The preceding was, of course, fictitious. But from talking to operators in Florida, who are in reality combatting such a tax Cit went into effect July 1J, that dialogue may not have been far from the truth. The bill that became law was, as Manley Lawson of Lawson Music Co. points out, an afterthought, a byproduct of not thinking a piece of legislation through. They don't even know who the "operator" is. How can you collect a gross receipts tax if you aren't sure which door to knock on? If there is anything to be learned from the Florida situation, it is this: keep an eye on every bi11 at your state's next legislative session. This bill got by Florida's coin-op industry, and it's now staring down the barrel of a cannon, though operators are hopeful that the law will be repealed in January. As they say, "If you snooze, you lose." Don't wake up to find your state has taxed you out of business. D Christopher Caire News Editor