Play Meter

THE LAST WORD
Video Valium
By
Mary Claire Blakeman
Consider what video games have done. They have offered-from Space In vaders on-a medium that
allows people to take out their aggressions, to work out these hostilities in a socially safe manner. A player'>
countless anxieties suddenly take form on that video screen before him, and he can vaporize, elude, or leap
over these adversaries until he is finally overwhe lm ed.
-From "Videos have a purpose"
(See Play Meter, June 1, p. 126)
By David Pierson
L
unch was not pleasant. In fact, I was so hot under the
collar, my polyester blouse started to melt. I was so
mad I could have ground two pounds of coffee with
my teeth. I was so angry that...well, you get the picture.
Storming out of the diner, I left hubby to scowl over his
French fries . I walked into a nearby bar, slapped a dollar on
the counter, and ordered change. Qu arters. Four of them .
(The bartender wasn't thrilled.)
Passing up the bottles of booze, I headed st raight to the
corner and shoved two quarters into the blinking, beeping
video game that stood there. In seconds the Pac-Man came
to life. I gripped the knob tightly and glared into the screen .
This Pac-Man was no cutesy cartoon. He was hungry and
mean. Blip, a monster got it, and 200points racked up o n th e
screen . Take that-and that. The game heated up and the
monsters chased harder, but my anger just made Pac-Man
run smoother and faster.
The blue monsters didn't have a chance. Mad laughter
echoed in my head as the defeated monsters simpered back
to their home base. It was one of my best games .
They say hyperactive children sometimes calm down
when you give them stimulants. Maybe that's what was
happening to me. The game's mesmerizing act ion began to
work on my nervous system, reducing the pulse rate,
slowing my breath.
The Pac-Man continued coo ll y around the maze,
gobbling dots and annihilating monsters. But as we all
know, the monsters eventually win in the end. So finally,
emotions and money spent, I sighed and walked out.
(The bartender wasn't thrilled.)
As I walked along, though, it struck me that I felt awfully
good for not having had a drink. I was even ready to forgive
my spouse. What was going on here?
Maybe I was on to something ... Yes, yes I cou ld see it
96
now ... the end of marital strife , the Arab-Israeli war s, and
even the age-old fights in Dear Abby about which set of
divorced parents gets invited to the daughter 's wedding.
We'll just settle eve r ything with vicarious video violence .
Now if the industry really wants to capitalize on its new-
found popularity with women, it should offer games that
take advantage of this idea . To start with , there could be a
game called, Bop Your Husband. In this one, the little stick
man would run around the screen getting points for doing
the right thing and a head bashing for screwing up. For
in sta nce: "Won't help with the dishes, " BAP! " Leaves
clothes on the floor," BAP! BOP! BOP! " Stay out too late
with the boys," BOP! Or-"Bring a bouquet of flowers
home," 200 points. "Makes dinner without grumbling ," 500
points ..
Then there could be a game for female secretaries called ,
Boot Your Boss. A hard-working, loyal employee begins
cl imbing the video ladder of success, and anytime a mean.
le cherous boss gets in the way, he gets a swift kick in the
fanny and falls off the ladder.
Or h ow about something with universal appeal:
Neutron a Nerd ? The player could select a variety of
targets ranging from the hot e l clerk who can't find your
reservation to the jerk who cuts in front of you on the
freeway . As soon as the nerds appear, ZAPPO, the neutron
bomb sends them into well-deserved ob li vion leaving the
rest of the world intact and much improved by their
abse nce.
Ah , what happy souls we will be when we can bap and zap
all the people we'd lik e to strang le in real life. And these
games will no doubt reduce drug use since they will
effective ly manage stress and lower blood pressure.
Yes, yes, I can hear it now ... "Doc, I'm really upset. You
gotta give me something to ca lm my nerves."
"Take two Asteroids and call me in the morning ."
•
PLAY METER , August 15, 1982