Music Trade Review

Music Trade Review -- © mbsi.org, arcade-museum.com -- digitized with support from namm.org
DECEMBER 10,
1921
9
THE MUSIC TRADE REVIEW
HOW A HUMORIST FEELS WHEN MUSIC
FALLS ON HIS WELL-ATTUNED EARS
Ellis Parker Butler, Well-Known Writer and Author of "Pigs Is Pigs/' Tells How
He Has Strived in Vain to Become One of the World's Great Musicians
now I give more study to the footing of my
butcher's bill. I take less interest in how Schu-
mann shatters his rainbows and more in how
the shoe man charges for his shoes.
Of late I have pursued my musical studies
more seriously along the foot- and hand-power
lines. I find that when pushing the pedals of a
player-piano threatens to overdevelop the lower
portion of the body the proper balance can be
obtained by winding the phonograph, winding it
with the right and left hand alternately. The
waist muscles can be developed by selecting a
large roll, such as a Wagner overture or the
Hexameron, setting the time at 120 and pedaling
as rapidly as possible. If one, at the same time,
grasps the underneath of the keyboard and rises
slightly from the piano bench, practically every
muscle comes into play, including those of the
neck, thorax and abdomen, and the gust of mel-
ody resulting has been known to blow a two-
story-and-attic dwelling from State street, Flush-
ing, to Fulton street, Jamaica.
Critics tell me that I may yet do great work
on the piano, for I have large, virile feet, not
subject to corns or calluses. At the same time
I have a delicate toe action that brings out the
sweeter emotional phrases of such things as
"Ain't We Got Fun?"—especially just after I
have had a footbath.
This whole subject is too huge to be treated
in a short article, but I wish to remark that
those who think humorists do not love music do
us an injustice. I myself am an example to the
contrary. Had I not chosen to be a humorist I
might have been a great composer. It was only
recently that I took a piano music roll of
"Nearer, My God, to Thee" that seemed to have
more unpunctured space than was necessary and
with my penknife cut the complete score of
"Yankee Doodle" alongside the hymn. It now
plays "Near-Yankee-doo-er-my-dle-came-to-town-
God-to-Thee-riding-on-a-near-er-to-pony
" in
the most fascinating manner. Everyone is sur-
prised when they hear it. There are loud cries
of amazement, admiration, pain and joy. Strong
men weep. Often my front lawn is packed with
the inert bodies of those who have fainted with
ecstasy while hearing that roll played and who
(Continued from page 7)
have been carried out under the vast calm bhie
tinuity of demand keeping active the good-will industries affords an inspiration and encourage- dome of heaven to recuperate. A "shattered rain-
magnetism. Contrast to this condition that in ment, such as is furnished to retailers in few bow falling in flakes" is nothing at all compared
the field of musical outfitting, where in many a lines, to handle wares of the highest quality. with it—absolutely nothing!
household it requires the arrival of a new gen- Similarly this good will, grounded in seasoned
eration to precipitate the purchase of a major business habits, is a promise to the distribu-
OAKDALE MUSIC_STORE OPENS
instrument. Yet it is the very infrequency of tor of a continuance of time-tried standards of
these drafts upon good will or trade-name tra- distribution. The music merchant is not beset
OAKDALE, CAL., December 5.—The Oakdale Music
dition in any one quarter that renders it so by the fears that haunt distributors in some less
Store
is the name of a new concern which has
fortunate that the good will of a ranking manu- stable lines and render them loath to take full
facturer in the industry is deep and broad of advantage of the good will that manufacturers been opened here by Alfred McDowell. The
area and long-lived. Deep-rooted good will has offer to share lest the manufacturers change their store, which presents an attractive appearance,
its reward not only when a family tree spreads entire scheme of distribution and incidentally contains a complete stock of pianos, musical in-
its branches to new homesteads, but likewise withdraw their good will. In the music trades struments and talking machines. Mr. McDow-
when faith of long standing dictates the make of are to be found alliances where manufacturer ell has had many years' experience in the music
instrument that is to be installed in a new and distributor or merchant have shared good business and is thoroughly versed in this class
school building, a lately instituted lodge room will continuously for three or four score years of merchandising.
and, happily, the younger manufacturers in the
or a rejuvenated Sunday school auditorium.
The Summers-Keese Music Co., Inc., of Chat-
In conclusion, it has to be acknowledged that field show every disposition to observe the
the number of conspicuous good-will structures trade's best traditions in the realm of good-will tanooga, Tenn., is moving its business from Mar-
ket street to Sixth street.
that have been reared by producers in the music partnership.
I don't know why the impression has got "theven therious tholdierth" I gave it up. I
abroad that humorists don't care for music. think my error was in trying to use a No. 2
Possibly it is because so many of us are fat and jew's-harp in a No. 10j^ mouth.
An evidence of my deep love for music is the
have our hair cut once a month, but the truth
is that most of us are simply nuts on it. My fact that away back in 1896 I was writing poetry
favorite music is the bagpipe, and I would be a
bagpipe player myself if it did not take so much
wind. I have no greater pleasure in life than to
sit and watch a bagpipe virtuoso on a cold No-
vember day while his face gets redder and redder
and his bare knees get bluer and bluer.
There is a fillip to expectancy in watching a
bagpipe player. I have never yet seen a bag-
piper blow up his bladder—or whatever the
technical term for the hollow wen that holds the
wind may be—but there is always the fond hope
that he may forget to loosen the safety valve and
blow into it until it busts. Some connoisseurs
get an equal satisfaction in watching a trombone
player, hoping he will push the end of the trom-
bone too far and dislocate his obbligato, leaving
a hiatus between the fore and aft of the instru-
ment, but I prefer to hope the windbag of the
bagpipe will explode.
For the bagpipe I have the feeling that one
sufferer always has for another. As a little child
I used to lie on my tummy reading Shakespeare
Ellis Parker Butler
while my aunt, at the piano, played Chopin. The about it. One poem was called "When Rita
reason I lay on my front was that it eased a Plays." It began:
pain I had in my inwards. I have always had
"When Rita plays, her snow-white hands
that pain and I can sympathize with the low
Command the board with graceful ease,
moan of the bagpipe as it complains of the too
And like two rival fairy bands
much wind in its insides. To me the bagpipe
Her fingers dance upon the keys,.
is the most pathetic of instruments. It is the
Or scamper through a rhythmic maze,
only musical instrument that attempts to be
When Rita plays."
merry and gay while groaning- with the colic.
I have here another poem entitled "Schumann."
The only instrument I ever studied conscien- It is what I call a tone picture. It is a jim-dandy.
tiously was the jew's-harp. I got along pretty It begins:
well with it except that its tongue and mine
"A shattered rainbow falling in flakes;
always seemed to want to be in the same place
A bird song heard through a thunder roar;
at the same time, and when the jew's-harp had
The laugh of a child as a rough wave breaks
stung- me like a serpent a couple of hundred
In stormy tumult upon the shore."
times and my tongue-tip was so raw that the
I wrote that back in 1896, too. I was presi-
only way 1 could say "seven serious soldiers" was dent of a music study club in those days, but
THE SHARING OF GOOD WILL IN THE MUSIC INDUSTRY
For over 25 years Specialists
in high grade Piano Cases
Paterson Piano
Case Co.
PATERSON, N. J.