Music Trade Review

Music Trade Review -- © mbsi.org, arcade-museum.com -- digitized with support from namm.org
THE MUSIC TRADE
IN LIGHTER VEIN
A DECIDED PREFERENCE.—'You're dreadfully untidy again, Mary!
1 don't know what the baker will think of you when he comes."
'"The baker don't matter, mum ; the milkman's bin !"
F E L L O W FEELING.—Wife—And will you promise to water the
llowers regularly while I am away?
Husband—Don't you worry about that; I know what thirst is.
WANTED TO KNOW.—"The first year we were married we had more
than twenty; the next year we had ten; this year we have only had four."
"What are you talking about?" inquired the other lady. "Quarrels or
cooks?"
SPORTING NEWS.—"Can I get off to go to the ball game?"
"Nix," answered the head clerk. "Furthermore, you will have to work
to-night. The office is going to play a double-header to-day."—Kansas City
Journal.
ONE THING AT A TIME.—"Why do you always eat a square meal
before dining out?'
"So that I can give my entire attention to the management of the vari-
ous knives and forks."
SUMMER IN T H E ZOO.—"1 think I'll spend my vacation on the
lynx," said the first flea. "I'm fond of golf."
"The giraffe for mine," declared the second rlea. "I need the highest
altitude I can find."—Washington Herald.
THE PERMANENT FRUIT.—'•The fruit crop has failed," ex-
claimed the apprehensive person.
"Yes," replied the gloomy boarder, "but what's the use of trying to be
hopeful. That never applies to prunes."
HOTEL WAS CROWDED.—"If you remember, I slept in this hotel last
night on a pool table."
"I remember," said the clerk.
"Well, did you find a set of false teeth in the corner pocket ?"
RUNNING FOR OFFICE.—"! think I'll send a ton of coal to every
widow in the district. How is that for a scheme?"
"Purty fair. But what if the other candidate sends coal to them as ain't
widows as yet? They control the votes."—Louisville Courier-Journal.
A GRACIOUS REJOINDER.—"If you marry Grace," exclaimed an irate
father to his son, "I'll cut you off without a penny, and you won't have so
much as a piece of pork to boil in the pot."
"Well," said the young man, "Grace before meat," and he immediately
went in search of a clergyman.
MARKETING IN CRIMSON GULCH.—"What makes the butcher put
.both hands in the air? Is he afraid you are going to shoot?"
"No," answered Bronco Bob. "He has gotten over being afraid. He
knows I ain't going to shoot as long as he keeps his hands out of reach of
the scales while the meat's bein' weighed. '—Washington Star.
A SUCCESSFUL QUEST.—"Well. Bill, how did you come out with
the trust company?"
"Fine."
.,
"They accepted your offer, did they?"
"Yep."
"What kind of a job did they give you?"
"Didn't give me any."
"Then how did they accept your proposition?"
"I offered them the refusal of my services and they accepted it—refused
'em right off the handle."—Harper's Weekly.
OBEYING ORDERS.—When the lady from next door called to com-
plain of Reggie for the persecution of her pet cat she found the youthful
offender sitting on the front steps.
''I want to see your father!" she exclaimed.
"You can't see pa now," the boy replied.
"I shall see him instantly," the lady insisted, advancing.
'"AH right," the little fellow agreed, opening the front door and slipping
out of arm's length. "Walk right upstairs. You'll find pa in the bathroom
takin' a bath."
AN APPRECIATIVE JUDGE.—M. Barboux, the eminent French law-
yer who died recently, was well known as an after-dinner speaker, and had
a wonderful fund of good law court stories. Perhaps the best of them is
the conversation which he declared he overheard in the lobby outside the
divorce court one afternoon:
"Well, how did you get on?"
"Splendidly. I got my divorce and care of the child. The judge was
on my side, you know."
•!_ "A friend of yours?"
.,'. - "Well—not a friend exactby. He used to be my wife's first husband."
REVIEW
What
Every Dealer
Should Know
T
HAT the continued growth of the
player-piano is bringing about new
conditions and the ascendancy of this
specialized product has accentuated the de-
mand for specific information concerning it.
Where can information be gained which
will aid the player-piano business?
Think it over.
The subject interests every dealer.
Now, if interest in the player product is
permitted to languish, the player-piano in time
will be no more active than instruments of the
ordinary type.
It will be used at irregular intervals.
Interest on the part of owners of player-
pianos must at all times be stimulated.
People who have purchased them must be
acquainted with their marvelous possibilities,
and it is absurd to say that the player-piano
will take care of itself.
Education and enlightenment must be con-
stantly carried on by those directly interested.
Recognizing the demand for specific in-
formation, this trade newspaper organization
put forth The Player Monthly, and it is con-
ceded that this magazine has been doing intel-
ligent, helpful work.
Dealers have purchased The Player Month-
ly in large quantities, realizing its helpfulness
to their interests by circulating it among peo-
ple interested in player-pinnos.
The cost is but a trill'-
By the year, fifty cents.
Single copies, five cents.
It is in tabloid form, and we shall take pleas-
ure in supplying sample copies free to those
who desire this aid to the player business.
Our position as specialists in this field is
conceded, for this newspaper institution is the
only one which has put forth technical and in-
structive literature relating to the player-
piano.
The Player Monthly is written in a chatty,
understandable, up-to-date vein-
Read it, and you will see just what it means
to you and your business.
EDWARD LYMAN BILL
PUBLISHER
1 MADISON AVE., NEW YORK