Music Trade Review

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THE:
MUSIC TRADE
His position reminds us of the story of the Raven and the Fox.
The Raven sat upon the limb of a spreading oak enjoying the
prospect of an excellent breakfast on a piece of cheese which he
held in his mouth. The world looked good to him, and just as he
was about to devour the rich morsel which he held in his mouth
the Fox appeared and engaged his attention with sundry compli-
ments.
"Mr. Raven," said the Fox, "I hear you sing charmingly, and
I have traveled a long ways to hear you."
The Raven's cup of happiness was nearly rilled. He was sus-
ceptible. He was more than anxious to oblige the smooth-tongued
Fox, but the presence of the cheese somewhat embarrassed him. H e
hesitated, but the Fox continued to urge him with profuse compli-
ments. Finally, the Raven opened his bill to sing and the cheese
dropped into the waiting mouth of the Fox.
Now, the funniest part of the position of the alleged trade edi-
tor is, that while begging for patronage—waiting for the cheese—
he compliments in the strongest possible terms the product of a
certain action manufacturer, while to the world he assumes the
position that none of the action makers should advertise. Yet, he
gently insists, after giving profuse compliments to this particular
maker, that he should advertise, following the carefully laid plans
which he would advise at so much per.
In other words, to drop the rich cheese into his waiting mouth.
The cheese will not drop, and the hungry pleader will not re-
gale himself upon the rich morsel, which he believed could be
coaxed into his capacious maw. Oh, no!
The action manufacturers of this country will not only hold
their cheese, but they can sing, too.
Men who create specialties, quite naturally desire their exploi-
tation in a reasonable manner, for the leading piano action manu-
facturers of this country are keen witted business men.
They understand what good methods of publicity are worth
to them, and they propose to follow their own views, not to patronize
worthless trade sheets and not bow to the insolent dictation of a
discredited journalist.
Men have something better than a chocolate eclair backbone
nowadays, they have a well stiffened vertebrae.
Is it not indeed sad, /the spectacle of a man who once possessed
mental gifts beyond the ordinary, hugging the delusion in his
frenzied old age that he dominates the music trade? And that
when he cracks the whip men will bend the knees.
Not to-day, thank you! The knees may be bent, but only in a
necessary process to eject an offensive animal bulk forcibly through
an open door.
If you just remember what brought you low
And keep away from the undertow.
Ah, but what's the use, the leopard spots are unchangeable,
and so will continue to the end of the chapter.
T
H E R E seems to be a steadily growing antagonistic feeling
against all guessing contests as a means of increasing piano
sales. During the past week we have received a number of papers
containing advertisements of guessing contests, and in some of the
towns, peculiar to relate, the dealers have advertised to accept for
payment in piano purchases any certificate or prize allowance issued
by any piano house at full value, on any of their pianos. This is
certainly turning the guessing contest plan around with a dizzy
turn, and unquestionably it reached the high water mark a short
time ago, since which time it has been steadily on the decline as a
business getter.
And why? Simply because the regular dealers in most of the
cities had gone on record as opposed to the plan, and they in turn
.have advertised these plans as "fake schemes." All of this work
has had its effect upon public opinion, and the guessing contest plan
seems to have worked itself out in most cases to the intense satis-
faction of the regular dealers.
T
H E personal atmosphere within the business is a strong factor
through the impression it makes. Not only does a buyer
want to feel that the house takes a human interest in him, but he
also looks toward the warmth of feeling within the house itself,
and the personal feelings between its workers. There is no ques-
tion that when there is a harmonious feeling existing between the
members composing the working force of the business institution,
better results are achieved.
REVIEW
GHTER VEIN
LOSING HOPE.—"You'll wake up some day and find yourself famous."
"Well, I dunno. I've been going out early for the morning papers
r
for a long time now."
"I'm troubled a great deal with headaches in the morning,'' said Lusch-
man. "Perhaps it's my eyes; do you thinK I need stronger glasses?" "No,"
replied Dr. Wise, meaningly; "what you need is not stronger glasses, but
fewer."
MAKING A STAR.—"I can whistle through my teeth," pointed out
the comedian.
"And I made you leading man on the strength of that," responded the
eminent manager. "Now, if you'll learn to wiggle your ears I'll make
you a star."
NO CAUSE FOR APPREHENSION.—"What shall we do with our ex-
Presidents?" asked the patriotic citizen.
"No need to worry about that," answered the practical person. "With
a little judicious advertising an ex-President is good enough to start in life
for any young man."
SEVEN OF THEM.—Minister—I made seven hearts happy to-day.
Parishioner—How was that?
Minister—Married three couples.
Parishioner—That only makes six.
Minister—Well, you don't think I did it for nothing?
"You want to get damages, I suppose," said the lawyer to whom Mrs.
Donovan's husband escorted her on the day after she and Mrs. Leahy had
indulged in a little difference of opinion. "Damages!" echoed Mrs. Dono-
van, shrilly. "Haven't I got damages enough already man? What I'm
after is satisfaction."—Youth's Companion.
John Redmond, the Irish leader, was talking in New York about Irish
leaders. Of one man he said: "His efforts to help the old country were
awkward. I'm afraid they did more harm than good. The poor fellow
always reminded me of that well-meaning but thoughtless gentleman who
killed a fly on a friend's bald head with a hammer."
A FAIR PROPOSITION.—Tom—So the heiress refused Jack?
Dick—Yes, it's too bad. He made a very fair proposition, too.
Tom—What was it?
Dick—He promised to be a most devoted husband and offered to re-
fund the money if he did not turn out exactly as represented.
"I guess," said the piano man who had been asked to admire an echo,
"I guess you don't know anything about echoes in this country. Why, at
my country place up in the Rocky Mountains it takes eight hours to hear
the echo of your voice. When I go to bed I put my head out of the window
and shout 'Time to get up!' and the echo wakes me in the morning."
Two Scottish farmers met on their way to church. "Man," said Donald,
"I was wonderin' what you will be askin' for yon bit sheep over at your
steadin' ?" "Man," replied Dougal, "I was thinkin' I wad be wantin' fifty
shullins for that sheep." "I will tak it at that," said Donald; "but, och,
man, Dougal, I am awfu' surprised at you doin' business on the Sawbath!"
"Business!" exclaimed Dougal. "Man, sellin' a sheep like that for fifty
shullins is not business at all; it's just charity!"—London News.
THE RETORT APROPOS.—A haughty English girl was attending a
celebration in a Canadian town, where both the English and American
flags were displayed. As they floated before the breeze peacefully, side by
side, she exclaimed in disdain:
"Oh, what a silly-looking rag the American flag is! It reminds one of
that cheap striped candy you sell in your stores."
"Yes," replied an American girl, "and it makes everybody sick who
tries to lick it, too."
A well known novelist was touring through Lancashire In order to
learn something of the lives of the inhabitants, when he came upon an
old man breaking stones on the roadside, and, thinking he might gain
some knowledge from him, addressed him thus: "How far Is it to Fleet-
wood, my man?" "You'll see a milestone a bit farther on," was the gruff
reply. "What's the use. if I can't read?" eaid the novelist, eager to draw
the old man into conversation. "Then it'll just suit you, for there's nowt
on it," said the old fellow.—New York Globe.
A COMING MISER.—A Sunday-school teacher asked her scholars to
each learn a verse to recite when they dropped their pennies at the next
missionary meeting, appropriate for the occasion.
They all came prepared the next Sabbath, and the first little fellow,
as he dropped his penny, said, "Blessed is he that considereth the poor."
The second repeated. "He that giveth to the poor lendeth to the Lord."
The teacher was delighted, and as the third, a very little boy, went
forward, she whispered in his ear, "Now, Johnny, speak out loudly."
Johnny, reluctantly dropping his penny in the box, lisped, "The fooj
and hlth money Jth thoon parted."