Mechanical Memories Magazine

Readers' Wives
By Sharron Chattenton
Hello all,
Before I continue with this and maybe end up getting hate-mail for not over-indulging in
your passion for all things slottie, let me thank you all for the support you've shown Jerry
and this magazine. Particular thanks to Dave Lavender and that strange man from Essex,
herwise known as Charlie Booth.
Well, I guess Jerry has been collecting for getting on 15 years and in the beginning I
even joined in. After the first auction I was banned from holding the bidding number as
my shopping gene kept taking over and I was going to have that machine no matter what.
It was a lot easier to hold up a card than physically fight with another woman in a shop
over a pair of shoes neither of us particularly wanted but wouldn't let the other have.
Realisation soon dawned - no 28 day statutory rights period to return my goods and
exchange them for something else that my heart desired . Another problem seemed to be
that the auctions were on Sundays and you had to view at a ridiculous time in the
morning. How can you do that sensibly after being out until the early hours the night
before? I know dedicated slotties were probably in bed at 7.30pm the night before but it
j ust wasn't us. Remember the good old days at Saffron Walden? Where everyone that
had had a drink the night before would gather in that nice cafe and have breakfast. And
then over the pub when it opened at 12.00! I remember one auction which I didn ' t attend
a couple of years ago. Jerry kept in touch as he always does and called me before he left
for home. He was very pleased with his purchases; so pleased that at the Petrol station he
forgot he was driving a diesel van and filled it with petrol! That cost a few more pounds
to put right. What a plonker! - You see, these machines and the whole slottie world get
into your brain and you can't think about normal things. My belief is that they take you
omewhere during your first auction and brainwash you - probably the back of Charlie' s
! Anyway, Jerry ' s collection started to grow and he could often be found in a quiet
comer reading another book about machines. Jerry started selling the spares for Allwins
and mending the odd machine and he hasn't looked back.
I think what really made me start to dislike the machines was that fateful day in
Hastings. Jerry received a call to say the Pier had gone into receivership and there was
the most awful storm there. We rushed down to take machines off the pier and return
them home to safety. I may not like them very much but am aware of their value - no
baliff was getting his hands on them without a fight. Anyway, before we even got near
the pier I started to notice bits of wood in the road and over the beach. The waves were
reaching the other side of the road and the wind was petrifying (and that was just Jerry).
As we drew closer we realised the wood had come form the pier and it had two gapping
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