Coin Machine Review (& Pacific ...)

and ferries. by his name alone.
The trolleys were his "carri-
ages of state" and a ferry was
undoubtedly "the royal barge."
Only once did he cross
swords with his subjects on
the matter of transportation.
Desiring to visit Sacramento,
where the legislature was in
session, he was denied trans-
portation by the Steam Navi-
gation Company. Shocked by
such high treason the Em-
peror immediately issued a
proclamation ordering the
commander of the revenue
cutter to blocade the Sacra-
mento River until the offend-
ing company could be brought
to terms.
Upon hearing of the Emper-
or's plight, his subjects and
friends at the legislature in
Sacramento immediately took
the matter before the State
Supreme Court. This loyal
body soon brought pressure to
bear upon the officials of the
treasonous company. Realizing
the mistake that had been
made, the Steam Navigation
Company took great pains to
see that such an indignity
would never again occur. You
may be sure that Norton I
boarded the boat a few days
later with great dignity, know-
ing that even the greatest of
rulers must at times overlook
the unfaithfulness of a few
subjects.
Sacramento was a favorite haunt of the
Emperor and he was often seen in the halls
of the capitol talking to senators and
lawyers. Even the Governor knew and
talked "matters of state" with His Majesty.
Advice was freely given when asked for,
and in most cases the Emperor's advice was
logical and sound. He read a great deal and
always kept well posted on events of the
day.
The Civil War bothered the Emperor a
great deal. It was unbelievable, he said, that
his loyal subjects could rebel against the
Empire. He declared by proclamation that
"No State could secede from the Union."
Fake telegrams from Jefferson Davis and
Abraham Lincoln were received by the Em-
peror many times during the years of the
Civil War. There was always a group of
facetious individuals quite ready to join in
the Emperor's grand illusion. A telegram
from Jefferson Davis in 1864 drew Norton
I into the struggle between the North and
the South.
'\.
Richmond, Va. -
March 11 (2½
p.m.) 1864. To His Excellency Em-
peror Norton, San ·F rancisco, Califor-
nia.
"It is with pain and regret that I
learn you are holding communication
with the arch-traitor, Abe Lincoln, the
so-called President of the United States.
Is this true? If so, I cannot longer
count you among my friends. The
South has long looked to you as their
guiding star to finally settle the present
war. Please answer at once. With high
consideration."
Jefferson Davis,
President C.S.A.
His Majesty then directed Lincoln and
Davis to come before him at once and state
their cases. Soon a telegram came from
Lincoln.
United States and Protec-
tor of Mexico, do order
and direct, first, that Oak-
land, shall be the coast
termination of the Central
Monarch by choice of the Golden West
Pacific Railroad; second-
Usurper by right of his own behest,
ly that a suspension bridge
What though his reign was a world-wide jest-
be constructed from the
This wise old Emperor Norton.
improvements lately ord-
There never was a monarch so kindly as he,
ered by our royal decree
So lordly in rags, democratic and free,
at Oakland Point, to Yer-
With never a battle on land or sea-
ha Buena, from thence to
Our good old Emperor Norton .
the Mountain range of
His soldierly dress we can never forget,
Sausalito and from thence
With its tarnished and old fashioned epaulette,
to the F arallones, to be
A white plug hat with a side rosette-
of sufficient strength and
One suit had Emperor Norton.
size for a railroad ; and,
With a monster cane as a regal mace,
thirdly, the Central Pa-
Entwined with the serpent that tempted the race,
cific Railroad Company
This Monarch of mystery held his place-
be charged with the carry-
Majestical Emperor Norton.
ing out of this work, for
Exacting no bounty but moderate need,
purposes that will here-
While the light of his life was excellent creed,
after appear.
For he never had done an ignoble deed-
"Given under our hand
This raggedy Emperor Norton.
this 18th day of August,
There never was tribute more modestly laid,
A.D. 1869, and the 17th
By banker and merchant more willingly paid,
year of our reign, in our
And never were titles more cheerfully made-
present Capitol, the City
Than those by Emperor Norton .
of Oakland."
All men are usurpers somewhat in their way,
Norton I.
But the high and the lowly acknowledged his sway,
Today a reality-for many
And even the children would pause in their play-
years scoffed at by "sane"
With greetings for Emperor Norton.
people - plans for the great
No King ever ruled better people, I vow,
Those old San Franciscans were peers, anyhow, .
bridge were described in de-
For none but the noble would smilingly bow-
tail by the Emperor. Amaz-
To a mock-regal Emperor Norton .
ingly enough they were in
many ways similar to plans
-Fred Emerson Brooks.
later worked out for the con- ·
struction of the bridge that
now extends from Oakland to
San Francisco. How mad was
this "wise old Emperor Norton?"
Washington, March 23 (4 p.m.)
Many people have wondered how such a
1864---To Norton I.
"It is the wish of the President that man could live for years,_ without an in-
you visit Sonoma tomorrow and stay in
come, and with no visible means of sup-
port. Perhaps, only the San Francisco of
Petaluma until further advice."
Abraham Lincoln, President.
the 1800's could have nurtured such a man.
By Wm. H. Seward,
It took this reckless, gay, fun-loving city
to harbor Emperor Norton.
Sec'y. of State.
The-Emperor's room was provided by a
The Emperor left for Petaluma at once.
lodge, of• which he had been a member in
There the telegrams came thick and fast
his early years in the city. This large room,
and were promptly answered by the busy
in one of the big old houses overlooking
Emperor. His foray in Petaluma ended by
the Bay, was "the palace" where he held
the citizens of the community holding a
"state" each afternoon.
"grand ball," at which all the pomp and
Much of his food came from the free
ceremony due an Emperor was most gener-
lunch restaurants, then popular in San
ously displayed.
Francisco. One of the most amusing and
An affair which nearly brought far-
endearing sights, according to the old-timers
reaching "international complications" was
who knew His Majesty, was the Emperor
the proposed marriage of the Emperor and
taking a "royal meal" at a free lunch. At
Queen Victoria of England. Although a
these scenes two of the Emperor's bosom
bachelor at heart, His Majesty was willing
pals were always to be seen. Almost as
to sacrifice his freedom for the great good
famous as Norton I, himself, were the two
that would come from the binding together
town dogs, known to the populace as
of the two great nations through marriage.
Brumer and Lazarus, and constant com-
That he actually took it seriously, was
panions of the Emperor.
shown by several proclamations on the
The dogs were inseparable, and were to
subject.
be seen stalking along behind the Emperor,
It was in connection with the marriage
on their road to or from the free lunch
with Queen Victoria that he first mentioned
rendezvous. A story relates how His Ma-
the building of a bridge across San Fran-
jesty, walking down one of the main streets
cisco Bay. In a royal proclamation of 1869,
of the city one day, chanced to see a car-
appearing in the Oakland Daily News, Nor-
toon of himself and his two pals at a free
ton I commanded the immediate construc-
lunch. A famous cartoonist of that day had
tion of the Bay Bridge.
drawn the caricature and had given it to a
"Proclamation from His Highness,
friend to place in his store window.
Norton I-Whereas, reliable informa-
Eyeing the cartoon with scorn His Ma-
tion has reached us to the effect that
jesty crashed his cane through both glass
our neighboring sovereign, the reigning
and picture proclaiming that it was "an
Queen of the Friendly Islands, is de-
insult to the dignity of the Emperor."
sirous of annexing her dominions to the
In later years, when the royal attire
United States, and herself to our royal
looked a bit shabby, the city fathers saw
person, and whereas, it is our pleasure
that His Majesty was provided with a new
to acquiesce in all means of civilization
uniform, at the expense of the city treasure.
and population, now therefore, we,
Norton I, Dei Gratia, Emperor of t~e
-TURN PAGE-
EMPEROR NORTON I
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