Coin Machine Journal

October, 1932
THE
COIN
MACHINE
\
77
JOURNAL
S o lo ta i
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Compositor: I miss the old cus­
pidor since it’s gone.
' Foreman: You missed it before.
That’s why it’s gone.
DECISION REVERSED
Father (sternly) : I thought I
issued an injunction against that
young Tully coming here.
Daughter: I know you did, Dad,
but he’s a lawyer, so he appealed to
a higher court, and Mom reversed
your decision.
A NEW TOUCH
Tramp: Say, mister, can you
change a half dollar?
Pedestrian: Yes.
Tramp : Good ! Let a poor f ellow
have a dime then, won’t you ?
Pedestrian: Where’s your half
dollar?
Tramp: Haven’t got one, but
everybody I asked for help said
they didn’t have no change, so I
thought if you had change for a
half, I could get a dime of it.
HE NEVER MISSES
Boss: To what do you owe your
extraordinary success as a house-to-
house salesman?
Salesman: To the first five words
I utter when a woman opens the
door: Miss, is your mother in ?
IGNORANCE NOT ALWAYS
BLISS
A backwoods mountaineer one
day found a mirror which a tourist
had lost.
Well, if it ain’t my old dad, he
said, as he looked in the mirror, I
never knowed lie had his pitcher
took.
He took the mirror home and
stole into the attic to hide it. But
•A
his actions didn’t escape his suspi­
cious wife. That night while he
slept she slipped up to the attic and
found the mirror.
Hum-um, she said, looking into
it, so that’s the old hag he’s been
chasin’.
■
A judge asked a Negro in court:
“Would you like a lawyer f ’
“No, suh, I don’t want no lawyer,
but I suttenly could use a couple of
good witnesses.”
NO VISION
Hotel Proprietor: “Now, over
there is the sea.”
Copy Writer: “Where? I can’t
see it.”
Hotel Proprietor: “You can’t?
My dear sir, I’m afraid you’re not
the man we .want to write our ad­
vertisements.”
“It isn’t sanitary,” protested the
traveler, “to have the house built
over the hog pen that way.”
“Well, I dunno,” replied the na­
tive, “we ain’t lost a hog in fifteen
years.” ------------------ —
A stenographer was asked: “ Can
you tell me what is pica type?”
■ “ A fellow who would date a girl
for a 10-cent show,” she grinned.
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!^KWKWKMMKJfiKK*a«KKKK:
Even Scotchmen
Can’t Resist
Appeal!
See Pages 3, 4, 5 and 6
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Enhanced Scans ■ © The International Arcade Museum
BOLTS AND NUTS
Judge: “What were you doing in
that place when it was raided ?”
Locksmith: “I was making a bolt
for the door.”
HE KNEW ANATOMY
Motorist (after knocking over a
butcher’s boy) : “ I ’m sorry, my lad;
are you all right ?”
Boy (picking up contents of his
basket) : “Dunno. Here’s me liver
and ribs, but where’s me kidney?”
Artist (talking to model): “ I
wish that you wouldn’t wear such
tight garters—” (looking m 0 r e
closely)— “and for goodness sake
quit sitting on those cane-bottom
chairs.”
IF THEY TALKED AS THEY
WRITE THE NEWS
Reporter (introducing wife to
city editor) : “ Chief, I want you to
meet the man’s alleged wife, an at­
tractive young matron of thirty-
seven. Dear, this is Mr. Jones, an
editor of a morning newspaper.”
Copy Editor (observing small
daughter in the act of yanking the
coffee pot off the table, to w ife):
“Nab child and avoid crash—pos­
sibly fatal burns.”
She insisted on taking innumer:
able frocks with her, and they ar­
rived at the station loaded with lug­
gage.
“ I wish,” said the husband,
thoughtfully, “that we’d brought
the piano.”
“ You needn’t try to be sarcastic,”
came the frigid reply. “It’s not a
bit funny.”
“I’m not trying to be funny,” lie
explained sadly. “I left the tickets
on it.”
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