C.O.C.A. Times

Universal Cigar Vender
Here's a machine rated Sublime while its
advertising is certified Ridiculous.
"The Prince of Vending Machines," claims
the hyperbole filled sales brochure seek-
ing buyers for the Universal Cigar Vender.
"A Monarch of Money Makers," it cheer-
fully declares. It continues: Why Work
for Others When with a Small Investment
a Princely Income Can Be Secured . "This
is the 'Vending Machine Age.' Get your
share of the profits ... "
If the customer is still on the fence, it piles
on: "Statistics show us that there are
smoked annually in the United States alone
one million billion five cent cigars." Awe-
some! What about the rest of the world?
Think universal, Universal!
"Write Us Today. Tomorrow May Be Too
Late. Fifty Universal Venders Costing Ap-
proximately $750 Will Earn You Net $5,212
Per Annum. Can You Beat It?" Wow! Do
you deliver next day to Brooklyn?
Photo credit: Tom Tollworthy
The case is artfully made in cast-iron with
antique copper flashing; the mechanism is
a quality design . What we don't have yet
is an accurate date. The Universal Vending
Machine Co, Battle Creek Michigan . ca
1905. This only one was sold at auction
in 2004.
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Every sales pitch was thrown into
this brochure to sell the machine,
truthful, absurd or not.
The machine's major limitation
was its very heavy weight.
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of l~ o,u 11 y M'•k•r. "
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OnB Mllllon BIilion
FIV6 G6nt Glaars
UNIVERSRL
Gl6RR VE,NDER
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Wl!EKLY EARNINGS
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ONLY PIPTP.EN C:l SIX DA VS' PROFIT
COST- OF CIGARS
Univusal V•,nding· Machine Co,
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Why Work ror Othcn When witft a Small fflvutmttit
1, Princely lacome Can Be S«ur T l,
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LOCATION FOR VENOERS
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