Automatic Age

“Do you mean to say you're
starving for attention ?”
“Sure, the dames don’t pay
much attention to fat guys.”
“ You know, the other night a
man at the Rialto theatre fell
out of the balcony and every­
body laughed but me.”
“Why didn’t you laugh?”
“ I was the man.”
N ina: “ I pity the poor girl
who's straight from the shoul­
der.”
Rita: “Nonsense. She oughta
answer one of those bust-devel-
oper ads.”
“ Hey, Mike,” said one work­
man to another on top of a three
story b u ild in g , “ don’t come
down on that ladder on the
North side of the building; I
took it away.”
“ How’s your car running?”
“ Not so good. I can’t keep it
throttled down.”
“ How’s Susie?”
“ She’s about the same.”
Visitor at asylum: “ Do you
have to keep the women patients
separate from the men?”
Attendant: “ Sure. The peo­
ple here ain’t as crazy as you
think.”
Medical consultation: “Jones
gives the anaesthetic; McGoon
passes the scalpel; Truffle han­
dles the clips; Clancy will be
ready with the sutures; and I’ll
take care of the bill.”
W ifie: “Well, I suppose now
you wish you were free to marry
again.”
Hubby: “ No, just free.”
M. P. to blonde, strip-teaser
by profession, visiting camp:
“Here, here! Wait a minute.
When I said ‘Take off,’ I meant
get going— visiting hours are
over”
Joe: “ I got a lovely piece of
paper for parking my car all
night.”
Mike: “A ticket?”
Joe: “ No, a marriage license.”
1st Rookie: “ Gee, this chow is
lousy. What I’d like to see be­
fore me right now is a straw­
berry milk shake.”
2nd Rookie: “ Don’t be child­
ish. What I’d like to see is a
strawberry blonde shake!”
A wild-eyed woman rushed
into the city clerk’s office. In
her hand she clutched a mar­
riage license. To the clerk she
said:
“ Did you, or did you not,
issue me this license to marry
that soldier?”
“ I did,” replied the clerk.
“ Then what are you going to
do about it? He’s escaped.”
Dear M om : I’ve been learn­
ing all about the army— how to
wash dishes, sweep the floors,
make the beds, peel potatoes,
and polish shoes. When I get
home from this camp I ’ll sure
make some girl a mighty fine
w ife!— Denny.
58
AUTOM ATIC AGE
© International Arcade Museum
S a ilo r ’ s S a y i n g : “Many a
heaving bosom is nothing more
than a hope chest.”
John— “I’ve fo r g o tte n how
far I’ve read in this book.”
Joan— “Just look for the place
where the clean pages start.”
Teacher— “ Can a n y o f you
girls tell me what makes the
Tower of Pisa lean?”
Fat Girl— “I don’t know. I f I
did, I’d take some of it m yself ”
E n g lish T each er— “ ‘Riches
take unto themselves wings and
fly away’.” Now, what kind of
riches does this writer mean?”
Jasper— “ Ost-riches, ma’am.”
H en ry— “ Mother, w h a t’ s a
trousseau?”
Mother— “ It’s the clothes a
bride wears for six or seven
years after she’s married.”
No wonder bees buzz— you’d
buzz, too, if somebody took your
honey and nectar.
Lady Glow W orm : “ I never
want to see you again.”
Boy Glow W orm : “ All right,
you glow your way, and I’ll glow
mine.”
She: “ I’m going to sell kisses
at the charity bazaar tonight.
Do you think a dollar each is too
much to charge for them?”
H e: “ No, people expect to be
cheated at those affairs.”
She: “ Ouch, you just kicked
my bad ankle.”
H e : “ I don’t think it’s so bad.”
October, 1941
http://www.arcade-museum.com/