Automatic Age
Issue: 1928 January - Page 67
T h e A u t o m a t ic A ge
—
69
—
A Page of Fun
‘How do you like your new job,
■Nora?”
Shure I like it.
I have every-
lng to work with— cremated cellar,
Cettietery plumbing, elastic lights and
a hoosit.”
“ W h a t’s a hoosit, N ora?”
‘ Shure,” said Nora, “ you ought to
The bell rings. You
*te a ting and put it to your ear
say ‘hello.’ Some one at the
her end says ‘hello’— then you say
hoosit.’ ”
, 6 knowin’ that.
"Mamma,” said Johnny, “ Santa
Jaus may be generous, but he is an
awful wicked man.”
Why, Johnny. What makes you
h'nk so?” said his mother.
. “ Well, he came into my room last
^Urht and stubbed his toe against the
£hair and you just ought to have
efll*d him swear.”
The follow ing advertisements ap-
^eared in various papers some years
a&o:
“ Bulldog for sale; will eat any-
’ttg; very fond o f children.”
. ‘W anted— A boy to be partly out-
Slc|e and partly behind the counter.”
‘ W idow in com fortable circum-
tances wishes to marry two sons.”
Animal sale now on; don’t go
Jsewhere to be cheated; come here.”
A lady wants to sell her piano, as
he is going abroad in a strong, iron
irame.”
W anted— A n airy bedroom fo r a
£efitleman 22 feet long and 11 feet
Wide.”
Recently this line appeared in a
paper:
“ A carload o f bricks
Came in fo r a walk through the
Park.”
© International Arcade Museum
A Stunning Alibi
Liza was on the witness stand.
“ Are you positive,” inquired the
prosecutor, “ that you know where
your husband was on the night this
crime was comm itted?”
“ Eh Ah didn’,” replied Liza, firm
ly, “ den Ah busted a good rollin’ pin
ovah an innocent man’s haid, dat’s
a ll!”
Esophagus
“ Johnny came mighty near choking
to death the other day,” said Mrs.
Boone. “ He was eating popcorn and
got a grain o f it fast in his windpipe.
A t least that’s where I thought it
was, but when the doctor came he
said it wasn’t in his windpipe at all,
but that it was in his sarcophagus.”
— National Food Magazine.
Got In Deeper
A t a dinner party one gentleman
arriving late found a seat reserved
fo r him near the head o f the table,
where the goose was being carved.
“ A h !” he exclaimed with a pleasant
smile, “ I am to sit by the goose.”
Then, observing the lady in the next
chair, he made haste to add: “ I
mean the roasted one, o f course.”
Concrete Love
A contractor who professed to be
fond o f children became very angry
because some little fellow stepped on
a new pavement before it was dry.
His wife rebuked him. “ I thought
you loved children,” she said.
“ I do in the abstract, but not in
the concrete,” he replied.— Cincinnati
http://www.arcade-museum.com/
—
69
—
A Page of Fun
‘How do you like your new job,
■Nora?”
Shure I like it.
I have every-
lng to work with— cremated cellar,
Cettietery plumbing, elastic lights and
a hoosit.”
“ W h a t’s a hoosit, N ora?”
‘ Shure,” said Nora, “ you ought to
The bell rings. You
*te a ting and put it to your ear
say ‘hello.’ Some one at the
her end says ‘hello’— then you say
hoosit.’ ”
, 6 knowin’ that.
"Mamma,” said Johnny, “ Santa
Jaus may be generous, but he is an
awful wicked man.”
Why, Johnny. What makes you
h'nk so?” said his mother.
. “ Well, he came into my room last
^Urht and stubbed his toe against the
£hair and you just ought to have
efll*d him swear.”
The follow ing advertisements ap-
^eared in various papers some years
a&o:
“ Bulldog for sale; will eat any-
’ttg; very fond o f children.”
. ‘W anted— A boy to be partly out-
Slc|e and partly behind the counter.”
‘ W idow in com fortable circum-
tances wishes to marry two sons.”
Animal sale now on; don’t go
Jsewhere to be cheated; come here.”
A lady wants to sell her piano, as
he is going abroad in a strong, iron
irame.”
W anted— A n airy bedroom fo r a
£efitleman 22 feet long and 11 feet
Wide.”
Recently this line appeared in a
paper:
“ A carload o f bricks
Came in fo r a walk through the
Park.”
© International Arcade Museum
A Stunning Alibi
Liza was on the witness stand.
“ Are you positive,” inquired the
prosecutor, “ that you know where
your husband was on the night this
crime was comm itted?”
“ Eh Ah didn’,” replied Liza, firm
ly, “ den Ah busted a good rollin’ pin
ovah an innocent man’s haid, dat’s
a ll!”
Esophagus
“ Johnny came mighty near choking
to death the other day,” said Mrs.
Boone. “ He was eating popcorn and
got a grain o f it fast in his windpipe.
A t least that’s where I thought it
was, but when the doctor came he
said it wasn’t in his windpipe at all,
but that it was in his sarcophagus.”
— National Food Magazine.
Got In Deeper
A t a dinner party one gentleman
arriving late found a seat reserved
fo r him near the head o f the table,
where the goose was being carved.
“ A h !” he exclaimed with a pleasant
smile, “ I am to sit by the goose.”
Then, observing the lady in the next
chair, he made haste to add: “ I
mean the roasted one, o f course.”
Concrete Love
A contractor who professed to be
fond o f children became very angry
because some little fellow stepped on
a new pavement before it was dry.
His wife rebuked him. “ I thought
you loved children,” she said.
“ I do in the abstract, but not in
the concrete,” he replied.— Cincinnati
http://www.arcade-museum.com/
Future scanning projects are planned by the International Arcade Museum Library (IAML).