Automatic Age

T h e A u t o m a t i c A ge
The true leader tries to arouse
the nation, the politician to lull it to
sleep.— Virginian-Pilot.
It looks like our inland waterways
were getting too far inland.— Ameri­
can Lumberman.
The Mississippi isn’t one of those
sickly streams that is always con­
fined to it bed.— Council Bluffs Non­
pareil.
It was a wise promoter who
merged the hot days and the dog
days in to the hot-dog days.—Arkan­
sas Gazette.
A politician is a man who divides
his time between running for coffee
and running for cover.— Virginian-
Pilot.
Paper money was made in China
200 years ago, but it would take a
smart man to make money in China
now.— American Lumberman.
Tunney says the day of the killer
in the pugilistic ring is past. But
the day of the pugilist who makes a
killing is not.— Wichita Eagle.
The business of being a husband
is becoming more and more precari­
ous. The University of Michigan
now has a girls’ class in rifle shoot­
ing.— New York Evening Post.
The annual Atlantic City beauty
pageant has been condemned by the
Big Sisters' Association, possibly be­
cause the little sisters have been
carrying off the honors.— Florence
(Ala.) Herald.
© International Arcade Museum
77
Straphanger’s complaint is one of
long standing.— Wall Street Journal.
West Virginia’s legislature has
passed a bill providing for a poet lau­
reate, who will receive $900 a year.
The Norfolk & Western will shortly
begin running home-seekers’ excur­
sions from Indiana to West Vir­
ginia.—American Lumberman.
“ How much do you want to fix
this puncture?”
“ Three dollars.”
“ Is that your flat-rate?”
— Rutgers Chanticleer.
Mother—“ Did you give your penny
to the Sunday-school collection?’
Tommy—“ No; I lost it.”
“ But this is the third week run­
ning you’ve lost it.”
“ I know, but that other kid's luck
can’t last forever.”
"What sort of a chap is Jack,
dear?”
“ Well, when we were together last
night, the lights went out, and he
spent the rest of the evening repair­
ing the fuse!”
About the nearest think to being
in five places at once would be driv­
ing a car that makes 203 miles an
hour.
“ Times sure have changed, haven't
they?”
“ I’ll say. Why, I can remember
when a rusty nail was considered the
most dangerous thing to step on.”—
Cincinnati Enquirer.
According to the latest estimate,
every third person in the United
States works for a living.
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