Automatic Age

T
Red Hot Papa
you notice what
^ster returned last night,
^ No, I did not, mum . .
'®0 this morning his shoes
^Hn!”— Passing Show.
( he
A
u t o m a t ic
time the
Martha?”
. But at
were still
Rubbing It In
Smith, the druggist, has lost his
a —s^e ran away with another man
j ® he inserted the following in the
K.6,VsPaPers: “ This is to notify the
I
who so kindly relieved me of
|
Wife, that I can supply him lini-
j 1&t, arnica, salve, bandages, ab-
°rbent cotton, iodine, sleeping pow-
I er and crutches at very low prices.”
j
Playing Safe
Jeweler—“ If I were you, I would
*?°t have ‘George, to his dearest
engraved. If Alice changes her
you can’t use the ring again.”
Young Man—“ What would you
Su8gest?”
Jeweler— “ I would suggest the
^ords ‘George, to his first and only
°Ve\”— Montreal Daily Star.
Unbelievable Modesty
Secretary: “ Sir, a maiden stands
^thout.”
Movie Magnate: “ Without what?”
Secretary: “ Without any creden-
lals for swimming the English chan­
nel.”
Movie Magnate: “ Impossible! Send
in at once.”
Ye Editor’s Job No Picnic
T “ Getting out a paper is no picnic.
^ We print jokes, folks say we are
silly,
i f we don’t, they say we are
too serious. If we publish original
© International Arcade Museum
A ge
69
stuff they say we lack variety. If we
clip from other papers, they say we
are too lazy to write. If we stay in
the office, we ought to be out hunting
up news. If we hunt up news, we
are not tending to business in the
office. If we wear old clothes, we’re
stingy. I f we wear new ones, they’re
not paid for. Like as not, some one
will say we swiped this article from
another paper. We did.”
Not a Chance
Cop on Shore—“ I’m going to ar­
rest you when you come out of
there.”
Man in Water—“ Ha, Ha! I’m not
coming out— I ’m committing suicide.”
— Yellow Jacket.
>
Bridget: “ Madam, you ordered eggs
for breakfast and there’s not an egg
in the house.”
Mrs. Richquick: “ Well, Bridget,
just use a little ingenuity.”
Bridget: “ All right mum. Do you
want it fried and where will I find
it?”
Tom was broke. He made up his
mind he would call Bill up on the
phone and see if he could arrange
for loan o f ten dollars. The follow­
ing conversation took place:
“ Hello, Bill. Is that you?”
“ Yes, this is Bill.”
“ It doesn’t sound like Bill.”
“ Well, it is Bill.”
“ Are you sure this is Bill?”
“ Yes, it’s Bill.”
“ Say, Bill, listen. I’m broke. Can
you loan me ten dollars?”
“ All right, I’ll tell him when he
comes in.”
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