June, - 1932
AUTOMATIC
WORLD
Thirty-Five
The Laughing Gallery
"What, you are going to marry
Mr. So and So?"
"Yes."
"But don't you know he has done
five years in prison?"
"Oh, the rascal!
He told me
three."
* * *
Father-"Yes, my boy, I'm a self-
made man."
Son-"Gee, Pop, that's what I ad-
mire about you. You a lways take
the blame for everything."
* * *
A farmer was passing the insane
asylum w ith a load of fertilizea-. An
in mate called through the fence,
"What are you hauling?"
"Fertilizer," replied the farmer.
"What are you going to do with
it?"
"Put it on my strawberries," re-
ported the farmer.
The inmate countered qu ickly:
"Y ou ought to live here. We get
cream on ours."
* * *
Maw and Paw had an awful hard
time gettin' married. Maw wouldn't
marry Paw when he was drunk and
Pa wouldn't marry Maw when he
was sobea-.
•
* * *
People do not lack strength, they
lack will. A hornet Y;'ever made any-
one run, but the h ornet made one
willing to run .
When you don't know whether to
fight or not, always fight.
* * *
By RANDY
Glan cing through several catalogs
of ou r largest coin machin e manu-
facturers, I find that a number of
them have had for years almost the
same machines that have made such
rec·e nt hits. What is the secret?
The large firms were short sighted
in the matter of advertising. In-
stead of pushing with an advertis-
ing campaign, a certain machine,
they let the offering remain u n dis-
t urbed while a more lively man ufac-
turer stepped in with the same offer-
ing, advertised like nobody's busi-
ness and cleaned up a n eat fortune.
Econ omy is alright but it can be
overdone.
* * *
those who try to do nothing and suc-
ceed.
.
* * *
Random Ramblings
Now for some smart stuff.
a load of this.
This photo s:hows a depar tment
i n the g lass globe section of
the ColiumbU/s Vending Com-
pany's plant at Columbus, O .
AU globes are giv en a thor-
ough test before shipp1ng and
Get
* * *
I am an old man and have had
many troubles but most of them
never happened, said Uncle Charley
Day, yesterday.
* * *
The men who try to do something
lind fail are infinitely better than
The men whom I have seen suc-
ceed best in life have always been
cheerful and hopeful men, who went
about their business with a smile on
their faces, and took the changeR and
chances of this mortal life like men,
facing rough and smooth alike as it
came.
must be A-I before, Columbus'
sends them out. The firm is
now offe,ring a very unique
globe that is fast winDing fa-
vor of al't opeir atorsi the co'u ntry
over.
lowe all my success in life to hav-
ing been always a quarter of an hour
beforehand.
* * *
Poverty is uncomfortable. as I can
testify; but nine times out of ten
the best thing that can happen to a
young man is to be tossed overboard
and compelled to sink or swim for
himself.-James A. Gar fleld.
* * *
Selfishness may win a hand-h old
but it never has stren gth enOll\;h to
hold on.
•
HAILS NEWSPAPER ADVERTIS -
ING TO OFFSET DEPRESSION
* * *
If you wish to appear agreeable in
society, you must consent to be
taught many things which you know
already.
* * *
Many a man has piled up a for-
tune by minding his own business.
* * *
The "knocker" is whipped; that's
why he knocks.
* * *
"What a great blessing is a friend
with a heart so trusty that you may
safely bury all your secrets in it,
whose conscience you may fear less
than your own, who can relieve your
cares by his conversation, your
dou bts by his cou nsels, your sadness
by his good humor, and whose very
looks give you comfort."
Buffalo, N. Y.-The secret of
keeping business up to normal lev-
els in the midst of a depression , for
confection ers at least, has been told
at the sixteenth -annual convent ion
of the Associated Retail Confection-
ers of the United States, which was
held here recently.
Leading candy retailers from all
parts, of the country supported Mrs.
Ora H . Snyder of Chicago, president
of the association, in her assertion
that the confectionery business had
reported fewer failures than a n y
other business.
George C. Cobb of . W orces~er,
Mass., said:
"Spend three per cent of your
gross on newspaper advertising. It
will all come· back to you."