June 13, 1925.
13
PRESTO
QEORQE P. BENT'S DINNER "TO AND FOR THE AGED"
Tuesday Night's Convention Week Event Proved Most Memorable in the
Chain of Entertainments With Which the Host Has Brightened
the High Spots in the Lives of His Friends
SONGS, SPEECHES AND TRIBUTES
Many Notable Members of the Piano Industry and
Trade Join in the Feasting, Eloquence and Wit
That Flowed from the Inspiration of the
Occasion.
The George P. Bent banquet and reception on Tues-
day evening at the Drake Hotel, Chicago, one of the
week's most interesting events, was decidedly bent to-
ward good cheer, the renewal of old friendships, the
building up of new ones and the enjoyment of that
grand and glorious feeling that "we're here because
we're here." Mr. Bent's "Dinner to and for the Aged"
had been looked forward to with anticipations which
may be said to have stretched from end to end of the
country, so far as men of music are concerned.
Songs were sung as no songs ever were sung before.
Speeches were delivered in which eloquence gave color
to thought, and talks were made that bubbled with good
feeling and affection for the host of the evening. It
was not a recherche affair so much as a reverberating
affair; a new twist was put on everything, and even
the Bent cigars were much twistier than ever. Their
stems twisted together, for they were fearfully and
wonderfully made from the best tobacco, spiraled in
such armature-winder's coils as if to defy experts as
well as tyros from "getting onto George P. B.'s
curves."
A Large Gathering.
One hundred and seventy-nine men assembled in the
Drake ball room to do Mr. Bent honor. And it was a
scene—the beautiful ball room with its brilliant chan-
deliers aglow with lights that were reflected from the
glistening domes of many piano men who had found
it impossible to cultivate business brains on the insides
of their heads and hair on the convex surfaces at
the same time. Mr. Bent had announced it as "a
banquet to the aged"; it may not have been a banquet
to youth, but there were some youngsters, neverthe-
less, and all were alive enough, and as they smoked
the twisted cigars the smoke took on curls after the
manner of sky-writing, and one real veteran made out
of it the words, "Rheumatism Gone, Cares and Times
Forgot." He was the same chap who translated Mr.
Bent's "B. Y. O." on the invitation, "Be Young Again."
All men over forty years in the trade were given
presents by Mr. Bent, these consisting of toys for little
children. The inference was that if they had com-
menced to play with the gewgaws real old age had set
in. But as none of the recipients displayed the right
kind of interest, Mr. Bent advised them to take them
home to their children or grandchildren.
baugh, Frank D. Abbott, J. A. Bates, Albert Behn-
ing, E. B. Bartlett, James F. Bowers, David C. Cook,
Mark P. Campbell, E. H. Droop, David R. Forgan,
Wm. D. Gates, Pardon Platt Gibbs, Herman Leonard,
Wm. H. Matchett, Judge Harry Olson, Charles H.
Parsons, Geo. H. Payne, Wm. Bates Price, Col. E.
S. Payson.
The how do you do song was introduced by a ques-
tionnaire addressed to Paul B. Klugh, whose name
rhymes so nicely with "do" that it suggested the
writer to the poet. Following the Klugh joshing
came these verses, with Mr. Kloer as soloist, the
whole company the chorus:
How do you do, President Lawrence, How do you do?
How are you R. W. L., how are you?
O, the air is full of plans—
Of the Chamber of Commerce plans—
But they're mostly also rans,
How do yovi do! etc.
How do you do, Treasurer Jacob, how are you?
How do you do, Treasurer Jacob, how are you?
Wo will tell you some bad news
If you press us for our dues,
That our language "heat embues"—
How do you do! etc.
PROGRAM PROPAH.
The following clever impromptu fitted the hour and
the humor and served as a prelude to the evening's
jollity:
De Toesmsta's a gemmcn you' all know well—
Dey ain't nothin' dat man won't tell—Marse Bent.
An' when de singiu' am interspersed,
We hope you all will do you' worst.
Now open yo' head an' swell yo' ches'—
Mek 'em heah yo' way out wes'.
While yo' dinnah's settlin' in you' carbureta.
We'll heah f'om Marse Bush, dat famed prevaricata.
Heah's Bruddah Collins, well, ah swan!
Wondah whut his min's sot on?
Now we'll fin' out "VVhut's wrong in dis pitcher?"
Den "How to keep f'om growin' ole."
(See if yo' all know which is whicher?)
Dem Entertainers gwine do dey stuff—
(Jes tell 'em to quit when yo' hab enough.)
Aftah lis'nin' ter deni two fops
Hit's tirn ter pass de Choklit Drops.
Ouah Parsons gwiner hit a few live spahks,—
Gwine mek a few colo'ful remahks.
Naow, Miss Bush in skirts, de plantashum Belle will
appeah—
Listen to huh warbin's, high an' cleah.
Ef anybody else wants ter do a tu'n,
Speak up quick befo' we adju'n.
We hope yo' all's had a pleasant time—
An' '11 membah dis evenin' wid thoughts sublime.
MR. BENT'S SPEECH.
GEORGE P. BENT.
PROGRAM OF THE DINNER.
How do you do, Pres. Jacobson, How do you do?
Given by Geo. P. Bent, 7 p. m., June 9, 1925, at The How is E. R. J., how are you?
You've had problems by the score
Drake, Lake Shore Drive and Upper Michigan
That would make an angel sore,
Avenue, Chicago. Reception 6 p. m.
But you smile, and ask for more,
T H E MENU.
How do you do! etc.
Assorted Canape
How are you , Otto Schulz, how are you?
(Canned Concerto)
How are you, Emil Wolff, how are you!
Cream of Fresh Mushrooms Clarence
These two make a corking pair
(Bent Broth)
As their policies are fair,
Celery (Cable)
Radishes (Red or Pink)
And they both are on the square,
Escallope of Lake Trout, Richelieu
How do you do! etc.
(Bates Bait)
Filet Mignon Blackstone
How are you, William J. Keeley, how are you?
(Bauer Beef)
How are you, W. J. K., how are you?
Potatoes Parisienne (a la Payson)
From old New York town you came,
Peas Henry IV (a la Parsons)
Tho' for that you're not to blame
Hearts of Lettuce, Drake
And we welcome just the same,
(Likable Lovable Luxton)
Mousse Nougatine (a la Nichols)
How do you do! etc.
Cakes (a la Cook)
Coffee
How do you do, Richard Bauer, how are you?
(Campbell and Chickering)
How are you, old Dick, how are you?
Bent Crackers
When a fellow fakes the flu
Bent Cigars
And he calls around on you
Cigarettes
For a slug of Mountain Dew.
What do you do! etc.
Toastmaster—Geo. P. Bent.
Timekeeper—James T. Bristol.
How are you, A. W. Poole, how are you?
Music—Oscar J. Kloer, Director.
Guests of Honor—Col. Edward Saxton Payson, How are you, A. W. P., how are you?
When you think you're setting '"jake"
Charles H. Parsons.
Reception Committee—Albert Behning, Col. Wm. But vou've overlooked a date
Lincoln Bush, Pardon Platt Gibbs, Matt J. Kennedy, With a blond and a brunette,
What do you do! etc.
D. D. Luxton, Fred. A. Nichols, Adam Schneider.
Autograph Taker—Charles Matchett Bent.
Ho wdo you do, H. L. Draper, how are you?
Entertainers—Geo. W. Allen, Col. Wm. Lincoln
How are you, H. L. D., how are you?
Bush, William H. Collins, Axel W. Christensen.
Poets—C. A. Daniell, Robert Owen Foster, Jesse When a lady full of fight
French, Ben H. Janssen, E. F. Lapham, George W. Calls to have her wrongs put right
Are you in? or out of sight?
Woodruff.
Speakers: Harry F. Atwood, Dr. Wm. E. Aughin- What do you do! etc.
1 feel highly honored and gratified that you, my
friends of the long ago and of the now, are here at
another of my "farewell" parties, not "a last supper."
I hope that, with failing memory, I have not for-
gotten to invite here any one of my old friends. One
week from today, June 16th, I shall be seventy-one
years young. Mine has been a strenuous but very
happy life. During my time most all the improve-
ments and inventions of the ages have come to this
world in which we live, move, and have our being—
all sorts of labor and time and money saving ma-
chinery, machines of efficiency and service, including
tho telegraph, telephone, phonograph, automobile,
radio, teletlx. the flying machine, and numerous
wonderful discoveries in the arts and sciences. Ed-
ucation and knowledge in every way have grown
rapidly and most astonishingly. The earth, sea, and
air have been searchingly and thoroughly explored.
A new generation has come in as the old one has
gone or is going. I used to know all the trade func-
tions, but after practically over twenty years' absence
I have to be introduced to four out of five. But I
am "back in the game" and the Bent Brothers' Pi-
anos and Products are soon to be launched.
Sunkist Kickers.
Chicago was my home for fifty years; Los Angeles
for the last six years. There I found all the isms and
cults ever thought or dreamed of by man; also some
of the worst demagogues and mis-leaders, such as
Johnson, Sinclair, and Hearst. I could name a lot
more in and out of California.
During the last twenty or twenty-five years, while
great inventions and improvements and discoveries
were made, there has sprung up again a spasm of
Socialism and Communism—in politics those ideas
are called Progressiveism, of which Bryan, Borah,
and La Follette were and are exponents. They call
these ideas and ideals new. But they are as old as
history, and every one of the hundreds of socialistic
plans and governments and efforts has dismally
failed and always will fail and die so long as ambi-
tion lives, and if ambition ever dies then all progress
stops, and dies also.
Whims of Wisconsin.
Socialism like the I. W. W. people won't work.
"All for each and each for all" sounds well. So
does "Save the World for Democracy." Neither will
work as all history shows. Both are evil, not good,
slogans; both do dire damage to all the people of all
the earth. Tt takes ambition and work to win and
work, hard, constant work is the largest element in
winning success and happiness in any line. All great
men, in all time arfd history, have been great work-
ers, long tireless workers—no six or eight-hour day
for them. Ability, energy, ambition, opportunity,
help some, but it's real work which wins.
Only a few days ago I was told of an instance at
the University of Wisconsin music department, where
a teacher was discharged for cause by the principal
of that department, who was restored to place and
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