Play Meter

- - JHE LAST WORD What's it all about? L istening to butchered English and tired cliches is, to my ears, akin to hearing the screech of fingernails on a chalkboard. America has become quite tolerant of poor grammar, but when you consider our curious appreciation of Madonna and fast food, it's hardly surprising. Why, for example, has it become acceptable to replace "goes" for "says"? To wit: "And then he goes, 'I thought I told you to shut up?' Well, I shoot him a look and go, 'You ain't the boss of me! I can talk when I want to!' The nerve of the bum! " Another irritation is dotting one's speech with "like." I don't know who started it or when, but I wish it would, like, stop. The next time someone assaults you with a torrent of likes, reach for the heaviest Thesaurus you can find and crack the offender's skull. He may thank you for your concern; if not, at least you'll feel better. Then there are the cliches: "You gotta give 110 percent" Chow can you expend more than the total amount of potential energy?) or "It's the thought that counts" (uttered when you receive a particularly horrid gift, e .g ., a threearmed porcelain monkey designed by a Dali disciple on drugs). But the one I hear with alarming frequency is this: "That's what it's all about." I may notice it because I watch PLAYMETER 176 JUNE 1992 so much sports on television. It's a favorite among athletes, who use "that's what it's all about" to drive their point home. Reds pitcher Rob Dibble, when asked how his ailing arm is responding to treatment, tells ESPN, 'Tm really letting loose during batting practice. My arm feels better than it did six weeks ago. That 's what it 's all about." Necessary? No. I flip the channel to NBC for the NBA Game of the Week. Marv Albert questions Isaiah Thomas of the Pistons about the team's performance during the stretch run. Thomas says, "We're up one day, down the next. It's been a strange season, but we 're still going to the playoffs. That 's what it 's all about." Is there no sanctuary from this cliche? .. Let's try CNN. Fred Hickman asks "Neon" Deion Sanders about splitting time between the Atlanta Braves and the Atlanta Falcons. Can he continue to play both sports? "I don't know," Sanders says, "but the key is to just have fun. CNO! NO!l That's what it's all about." (Translation: "I need both paychecks to afford all these gold chains around my neck. ") I shouldn't pick on the jocks; rock stars are no better. Excuse me, Mr. No Talent Headbanger, doesn't the fact that you can't sing, write lyrics, or play an instrument bother you? " Who cares about that? The kids are buying my records . That 's what i t's all about." You, over there , the critical darling of the rock press, how does it feel to sell only 1,000 copies of your latest release? "It doesn't bother me in the slightest. I have the same philosophy as Sinead O 'Connor and U2: m y music is designed to educate the public about acid rain, AIDS, teenage pregnancy, '80s greed, world peace , Satan, and love. That 's what it 's all about." What's the coin-op amusement industry all about? The bottomliners would argue that selling games and emptying full cashboxes is it, end of discussion. Some may cite specific equipment: "It's all about video games" or "Jukeboxes-that's what the coin machine industry has always been about." Those of a more philosophical bent might say the industry is all about fun , about providing families with clean, inexpensive entertainment. Who could argue with any of these answers? Then again, why argue at all? Just, like, enjoy it, you know what I'm going- I mean, saying? D Christopher Caire News Editor