Play Meter

- THE LAST WORD Do people write letters anymore? L et me say from the outset that I'm not one who would like to see technological advancements impeded. I love being able to tote along a Sony Watchman when a 19-inch color TV isn't available and an afternoon World Series game is on the tube . Also , if the government can perfect and deploy ' 'Star Wars'' to defend U .S. cities from incoming nukes , I say spend the money . Technological advancements, however, don't necessarily translate into societal improvements. Are we better off with the ability to telephone someone from the bathroom, in a speeding automobile , or up 30,000 feet in the big blue sky? I'm not saying this is a bad thing , but I do believe that more chances to use the telephone will only weaken another dying form of communication: the writing ofletters. I'm quite the letter-writer myself. When I was in eighth grade I wrote a fiery letter to Inside Wrestling magazine, trumpeting my belief that a Japanese wrestler named Aioki could beat Muhammad Ali in their bout-which turned out to be a farce . (Hey , cut me some slack. I believed wrestling was legitimate back then .) When they published my letter, you 'd have thought I won the Pulitzer with the way I made everyone read it. PLAYMETER 208 JUNE1991 My love letters to the chicks are works of art. Let me give you an idea of a typical letter and the resultant response from the lucky female, no doubt swept away by the lilting prose. "Dear Amber, Mere words don't describe your beauty, but alas, they are the only means I have. Your eyes are like emeralds glistening beneath a rolling brook. Your voice is the music of angels . If ever we meet again, I will thank the Creator for allowing me to look once again at his most shining example of womankind.'' "Dear Chris, Are you the chunky guy with glasses? I thought your name was Craig. Anyway, don't ever write me again, you pervert, or I'll have the cops put you under a peace bond." Amber isn't the only one who's stopped getting letters. Do you ever wonder why Play Meter only runs one or two letters a month? Simple answer: that's all we get! A few people in the industry write us fairly regularly, such as Louis Boasberg and John Margold (who, by the way, does an ''egg'' -specially good impersonation of an attorney; have him do it for you sometime) . Most of the time , though, we don't hear a peep. Let me clarify that. We do hear from people, but it's usually by phone. No , what we want are hand- or type-written letters. Use a crayon if you 'd like! Letters give us a tangible response to an item that appeared in the magazine. We can print the letter and give a forum to the opposing view-assuming that's the case. The letter-writer may actually-gasp!-agree with what was written. That would be great; we appreciate any kind words sent our way . But be venomous if you want; we can take it. And let's be honest: nasty letters are more fun to read , aren't they? OK, don't procrastinate. Read through the r~st of this issue, find something you want to comment on, and fire off a letter filled with wit and sty le. Hell , write a letter to me about my letter-writing column. Be agreeable, be crude-after all, it's your time and your stamp. Just don't talk about my mama! D Christopher Caire News Editor