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THELAST LASTWORD WORD THE big boy boy now now big Ilegislative body that calls itself- get this - the Quali- tem: The city of Long Beach, Calif., has a quasi- Ttem: The city ofthat Long Beach, a quasiitself-Calif., get thishas - the Qualilegislative body calls ofLife LifeCommittee. Committee.Composed Composedof ofmembers membersfrom fromthe the tytyof Long Beach City Council, this group recently issued a Long Beach City Council, this group recently issued a recommendationthat thatwould've would'veeffectively effectivelybanned bannedvideo video recommendation games in retail and commercial outlets, with the exception games in retail and commercial outlets, with the exception restaurants and bars. ofofrestaurants and bars. It seems that QLC member Clarence Smith, ever watIt seems that QLC member Clarence Smith, ever wat- chfulof ofvices vicesthat thatmight mightcorrupt corruptthe thecity's city'sinhabitants, inhabitants, chful feared that youths would solicit quarters from drug pushers feared that youths would solicit quarters from drug pushers anattempt attempttotofeed feedtheir theirinsatiable insatiablethirst thirstfor forvideo. video.I Ican can ininan 1 seethis thisscene scenebeing beingplayed playedout outininarcades arcadesacross acrossLong Long see Beach: ''Hey dude, I just spent my last quarter on Double Beach: "Hey dude, I just spent my last quarter on Double Dragon! I gotta play one more game, I gotta! Do I want you Dragon! I gotta play one more game, I gotta! Do I want you lend me 25 cents? No way; I'll just go around the cortotolend me 25 cents? No way; I'll just go around the corner and act as a drug lookout for Mr. Pusher! He'll give me ner and act as a drug lookout for Mr. Pusher! He'll give me the quarter. After all, that makes more sense than borrowthe quarter. After all, that makes more sense than borrow- ing it from you, my 14-year-old next-door neighbor!' ' ing it from you, my 14-year-old next-door neighbor!" Mr. Smith obviously skipped a few steps in his analytical Mr. Smith obviously skipped a few steps in his analytical processes to reach the conclusion he did. If Long Beach processes to reach the conclusion he did. If Long Beach musthave havea aQuality QualityofofLife LifeCommittee, Committee,may mayI Isuggest suggestthat that must it encourage positive things to do , instead of things its it encourage positive things to do, instead of things its citizens should refrain.from doing? Take it from me: to imcitizens should refrain from doing? Take it from me: to improve your quality of life, listen to jazz, take in a few prove your quality of life, listen to jazz, take in a few Woody Allen movies, drink red Rhone wines, and eat plenWoody Allen movies, drink red Rhone wines, and eat plen- Weber Thesaray Thanks, but but I'm I'm aa Thanks, This guy says he runs a family-oriented place, and we This guy says he runs a family-oriented place, and we all know what sort of people are attracted to video arcades . all know what sort of people are attracted to video arcades. Wouldn't have anything to do with the new competition, Wouldn't have anything to do with the new competition, wouldit? it? would Theabove aboveitems itemsare arejust justa asampling samplingofofthe thenews newsclips clipsthat that The cross my desk every day. And every day, having read them, cross my desk every day. And every day, having read them, shake my head and mutter to myself: what gets into the I Ishake my head and mutter to myself: what gets into the brains of these people? brains of these people? The restaurant owner in Saugus probably wanted to add The restaurant owner in Saugus probably wanted to add that littlesomething somethingextra extratotodraw drawcustomers customersinto intohis hisplace. place. that little So what? What's wrong with a little post-meal video? Do So what? What's wrong with a little post-meal video? Do the selectmen have studies proving that video hampers the selectmen have studies proving that video hampers digestion, or that two games make customers lose their grip digestion, or that two games make customers lose their grip alcohol consumption? "Whatafungame! I'll have a pitononalcohol consumption? "What a fun game! I'll have a pitcher beerand andtwo twovodka vodkamartinis!" martinis!''Come Comenow. now . cher ofofbeer The Virginia item, meanwhile, is the height of The Virginia item, meanwhile, is the height of hypocrisy. Here's the owner of a billiard parlour, which hypocrisy. Here's the owner of a billiard parlour, which don't doubt to be family-oriented, fighting the establishI Idon't doubt to be family-oriented, fighting the establishment of an arcade near his location. I' 11 bet before he opened ment of an arcade near his location. I'll bet before he opened had to defend himself against irrational protests, too. hehehad to defend himself against irrational protests, too. " We don't want any pool hall in our shopping center! Ain't "We don't want any pool hall in our shopping center! Ain't nothin' but hustlers and bums hang out there! " nothin' but hustlers and bums hang out there!" Yet when the time came to help a fellow businessman , Yet when the time came to help a fellow businessman, turned knee-jerk and rose in opposition. Rather than help heheturned knee-jerk and rose in opposition. Rather than help quell the usual anti-video tide, he added fuel to it. quell the usual anti-video tide, he added fuel to it. To all city councilmen, selectmen, aldermen , dogTo all city councilmen, selectmen, aldermen, dogcatchers, or anyone else entrusted with making laws: concatchers, or anyone else entrusted with making laws: concern yourself with real problems facing your communities. cern yourself with real problems facing your communities. This country certainly has more troublesome matters to This country certainly has more troublesome matters to deal with than video games. We in the coin-op amusement deal with than video games. We in the coin-op amusement industry are here to provide entertainment. That's our botindustry are here to provide entertainment. That's our bottom line; there's nothing sinister lurking underneath. tom line; there's nothing sinister lurking underneath. I'm a big boy now. Let me decide which toys to play I'm a big boy now. Let me decide which toys to play with. I promise I won't hurt myself. D ty of oysters and crawfish . Item: The powers-that-be in Saugus , Mass. (they call Item: The powers-that-be in Saugus, Mass. (they call themselves "selectmen"), "selectmen" ),voted voteddown downaaproposal proposalthat that themselves would've allowed a few dozen video games and a jukebox would've allowed a few dozen video games and a jukebox put in a new restaurant there. They were worried about totobebeput in a new restaurant there. They were worried about the harmful effect the games would have on patrons and apthe harmful effect the games would have on patrons and apparently the city itself; why else would Selectman Peter parently the city itself; why else would Selectman Peter Manoogian say, "I'm not convinced it's the theme that's Manoogian say, "I'm not convinced it's the theme that's town. " right forthis right for thistown." with. I promise I won't hurt myself. Item: A Virginia businessman wishing to open an arcade Item: A Virginia businessman wishing to open an arcade within a shopping c.e nter is meeting OPJiOSition because of within a shopping center is meeting opposition because of the crowd it'll attract: beer-drinking , hell-raising teens. the crowd it'll attract: beer-drinking, hell-raising teens. Whose opposing the arcade? The clergy, MADD , or Whose opposing the arcade? The clergy, MADD, or Citizens Against Hell-Raising? Nooo sir! Try the owner Christopher Caire Citizens Against Hell-Raising? Nooo sir! Try the owner Christopher Caire NewsEditor Editor of a billiard parlour within the same shopping mall. News of a billiard parlour within the same shopping mall. ty of oysters and crawfish. Christopher Caire 154 PLAY MET ER/Apri l 1989 154 PLAY METER/April 1989