Music Trade Review -- © mbsi.org, arcade-museum.com -- digitized with support from namm.org
SEPTEMBER 28,
THE MUSIC TRADE
1918
REVIEW
The Editor of This Player Section,jjBeing^a Self-Gonfessed Optimist of the
Untamable Variety, Herein Sets Forth the Results of His Cogitations on
Sundry Topics, Which, if Not Pertinent, Are Not Designed to Be Impertinent
Sixty-eight Words
The reply of Mr. Lansing to the proposals
of the Austro-Hungarian Government for
what were amiably termed "non-binding peace
discussions" occupied a single sheet of let-
ter paper and contained precisely sixty-
eight words, constituting, perhaps, if not cer-
tainly, the shortest diplomatic "No" in re-
corded history. If Baron Burian were the for-
tunate possessor of a sense of humor he would
have undoubtedly thought twice before he de-
scribed his proposals as an invitation to a dis-
cussion of "non-binding peace proposals." The
experience of Russia at the recent love-feast,
since known as the Treaty of Brest-Litovsk,
indicates that any proposal likely to be made by
the Hun powers at any time or in any place
will most decidedly be "non-binding" upon all
the peoples who are opposed to them. But
levity on these high diplomatic matters is, of
course, to be discouraged. The All-Highest, we
fear, does not understand Allied humor, whether
it be of the French or the Anglo-Saxon brand;
and it must be confessed that the above joke
is, after all, rather bad. Still, perhaps, those
who do me the honor of reading these out-
bursts will join me in the conviction that the
whole difference between the sort of thing which
has made us reasonably successful people and
that which has bankrupted the reputation and
character of the German people is expressed in
this very word—-"non-binding."
Why, in
Heaven's name, all this necessity of expressing
fear that one might bind one's self if one's pro-
posals are sincere? I happen to be fortunate
enough to form one of the more than thirteen
million who signed up on the 12th of the month
in Uncle Sam's big registration. If I should,
later on, object that in doing so I was merely
entering into a "non-binding" agreement with
my Government, 1 wonder what would happen
to me? I am rather painfully of the opinion that
the reply of Uncle Sam to diplomacy of this
sort would be expressed in considerably fewer
than sixty-eight words. Complete verdicts al-
ways are short, anyhow. A less successful
painter once asked Whistler, "What do you think
I ought to get for this picture?" Whistler
put up the famous eye-class, examined the mas-
terpiece critically, looked it all over, stepped
back and then deliberately rendered judgment.
He spoke exactly two words; he said: "Six
months!" Brevity, or rather shortness, seems
to be the order of the day, whether in diplomacy
or in industr}-. In our trade we are short, too;
short on pianos; short on material; short on
labor. The trade papers are short on paper
(any applause will be rigorously suppressed).
Also Uncle Sam is extremely short in his an-
swers to perjurers, liars and murderers; whether
they be in high places or not.
Music Rolls
They tell me that some of the wise boys who
manufacture those continuous porous plasters
from which we extract sweet sounds via the
player-piano route have been getting together
and talking, at least over the tables of the
piano clubs, about a phase of their business
which I, for one, never could understand. The
quantity of the monthly publications has always,
in my opinion, borne an inverse ratio to the
quantity of titles actually in big demand. That
is to say, the conditions of competition had
gradually, up to the time of the war, induced the
manufacturers to enter into an expensive race
to see who could put out the largest number of
different titles each month. It is perfectly ob-
vious that the policy is all wrong, for the simple
reason that, as anybody who knows anything
about it can tell you, 50 per cent, at least of the
contents of each monthly bulletin is bound, in
the nature of the case, to consist of slow-sell-
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ing titles. Then there is another thing. The
retail merchants have had such quantities of
titles to deal with that, with the best intentions
in the world, they have never been able to con-
centrate properly on pushing monthly sales, and
have never known in consequence just how to
handle music roll selling. You only have to
go into a large music store to see how much
space is wasted and how many dollars are tied
up in slow-selling, or apparently dead rolls, to
realize that the music roll is not being properly
handled. The truth of the matter is simply that
dealers are swamped with excessively large
quantities of new titles each month; and in con-
sequence do not concentrate on any of them.
Now, I will venture to say that if every retailer
in the country found that he would be obliged
to get along without any new music for three
months, he would be able to clean from his
shelves by far the greater quantity of the so-
called dead stock now accumulating on them.
In other words, he would discover that he
could sell most of the dead stuff by seriously
trying to. On the other hand, so long as he is
getting fired at him every month more of the
very latest titles than he can sell readily at a
profit, he will never make an effort to sell any-
thing but the most ephemeral hits of the mo-
ment. Now, suppose that the manufacturers
should undertake to cut down to half their pres-
ent quantities of new issues? The merchant
would find that he could just as easily sell the
ephemeral stuff, because the best of that would
naturally be arranged and cut anyhow, while the
dubious numbers would be eliminated; and more
time would be left to give attention to those
people who demand something better. This
would give the merchant some chance to learn
how to sell his own stock of rolls instead of
treating the whole thing as he would treat a
notion counter. From every point of view this
reduction scheme is to be commended; and I
hope to goodness something will be done about
it.
Is Uncle Deaf?
Just now it seems to be the fashion to blame
everything that goes wrong on poor Uncle
Sam, but Uncle's shoulders are broad and no
doubt he can support the heavy weight of abuse
imposed on him by his ungrateful nephews and
nieces. Still, once in a while we really can
discover a genuine cause for registering a kick.
Here is a case in point; see if you don't agree
with me. The other day Mrs. Oberndorfer, of
the Musical Advancement Bureau, told me that
there are more than fifty Y. M. C. A. clubs at
the military cantonment of Camp Grant, 111.,
and the Great Lakes Naval Training Station
together. Of these clubs, there is scarcely one,
so far as I am informed, which does not boast
either a piano or a player-piano. Taking the
country by and large it is safe to suppose that
all the other great military and naval canton-
ments will show an equal percentage of Y. M.
C. A. recreation work, with consequently an
equal proportion of musical instruments. Now,
what I should like to know is, who is taking
care of these pianos and player-pianos? Some-
body may say, "What has that to do with you?"
But I answer "It has a great deal to do with
me, as well as with every other person who
wishes well to our military and naval forces,
and who at the same time is not altogether tone
deaf." It happens that before making this state-