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THE
MUSIC TRADE
5
REVIEW
ENERAL business conditions are steadily improving and it is
the universal belief that after the Presidential election has
taken place the demand for manufactured products of all kinds will
be exceedingly strong, and in this connection the opinions of many
THE ONLY WAY SHE KNEW.—He—I think Miss Bond has such a
dealers expressed in The Review of last week should be reassuring
sweet smile.
She—So all the men tell me.
to business men everywhere.
This country is going ahead and it cannot be checked except
SLY FOX.—"I notice that you always sit at your wife's left, Mi".
temporarily in its onward march. When the panic dropped in
Meggs.
upon us in 1907 we had been running at perhaps too rapid a pace
"Yes," frankly replied Mr. Meggs; "that's the side her glass eye is on.''
in everything. A large proportion of the business men of the
country had been very prosperous and merchants had accumulated
MODERN FACILITIES.—"Who wuz dis Rip Van Winkle?"
"An old-time guy wot slept in de mountings."
stocks in many cases larger than they were aware of, but when the
"Didn't have no public libraries, I s'pose, in his day?"
sudden deluge came they began to sit up and take notice that there
might be a period of hard times, and they began to keep down their
YOUTHFUL ASSURANCE.—"When I was of age," said the sterti
purchases and expenses as well.
parent, "I was accumulating money of my own." "Yes," answered the
Whatever has transpired in the music trade has been reflected graceless youth, "but don't you think the public was easier then than it
in other lines and the demand has been steadily reduced for factory
is now?"
products and consequently manufacturers have cut down their pro-
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ductions, laid off help and have been running on short time. In
THE MYSTERY.—"George, I was shocked to-day to hear our little
Jimmie tell Baby Augusta to go to blazes. Where do you suppose he could
fact, any manufacturing institution whose output for 1908 reaches
more than fifty per cent, of the business of 1907 is doing well ac- have learned such a dreadful expression?"
"How the blazes should I know?"
cording to the general reports from financial and business circles.
Of course, the last two months may pull up the year's business
PRACTICAL DEMONSTRATION.—Teacher—"As to those old supeir-
stitions we have been talking about, they are all exploded. Nobody
to over fifty per cent., because there is no denying the fact that the
believes now, for instance, that it brings bad luck to walk under a ladder."
trade for October has been very good, even viewed from the basis
Shaggy Haired Pupil!—"I do, ma'am. 1 walked under a ladder once,
of boom times. Many of the factories are running on full time,
and it fell on me."
and if nothing serious occurs to interrupt the commercial and
industrial confidence within the next few months, every factory in
SHE SUPPLIED THEM.—"Well," grumbled Mrs. Nagget, inspecting
the new house her husband had taken, "there are disagreeable features
the country will have all the business which it can easily handle.
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'? Many firms which were slow in their payments a year ago are about this place that you didn't mention before."
"They weren't here before," retorted Nagget.
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to-day discounting their bills. This is a condition which was never
"What features are you referring to?"
known before during a depression in business. Of course, the cause
"Yours."
of it is that dealers have turned their large surplus into cash. A
Western dealer recently remarked in The Review office that a year
NE PLUS ULTRA.—Mrs. Bridey—To-morrow will be George's birth-
day, and I've bought a lovely box of cigars
ago he was owing his local bank over $20,000 and to-day he owes it
Mrs. Oldenweis—Oh! I wouldn't have done that. It's a mistake for
nothing. There has been a general cleaning up and business men
a woman to buy cigars for her husband unless she's careful to get the
are inclined to more conservative plans and they are not piling up
very best
stock beyond their ability to pay. Anyone who has studied the
Mrs. Bridey—Oh! but I was careful. I picked out a box called "Best
business condition of the country closely must admit that we are Ever." Of course there couldn't possibly be anything better than that.
on the verge of one of the greatest periods of prosperity the country
FIXING UP AN EXCUSE—He came home from the direction of the
has ever seen.
river with wet and sandy hair. "Johnny," said his mother, severely, "you
Crops throughout the country are excellent, the foreign demand
have been in swimming?" "No'm," replied Johnny, nervously. "What is
is large, which will naturally bring more money to this country.
your hair doing wet?" "Rained on it." "Well, how did you get that sand
There is practically no surplus of goods on hand and with mills
mixed up in your hair? It didn't rain sand, did it?" Johnny was stumped
starting up and the wage earners employed, money will be put in for the moment. Then he quickly responded: "Yes'm. You see, ma, I
happened to pass under a balloon when they were throwing out ballast."
circulation, all of which will accelerate good times, provided, of
course, there is no jolt in the nation's political affairs.
MERELY A FABLE.—Once there was a man whose house was
With fixed policies and no anxiety or unrest as to the Govern-
infested with rats.
\
ment's action.on such important issues as tariff and finance, business
He tried all sorts of traps and poisons on them, but without success.
"Well," he said, "there is only one way to get rid of them. I shall
is bound to move along uninterruptedly.
OME time ago The Review suggested the standardization of
certain parts of player-pianos. Since that time a number of
people have strongly favored it.
Standardization in all lines is becoming now a necessity. The
automobile industry is but a few years old and already manufac-
turers are considering the standardization of parts. In the plumb-
ing and gas-fitting and kindred industries the man in Alaska and
the man in Mexico may go to the nearest hardware store to get a
"collar" to fit a pipe that needs a "collar" no matter by whom the
pipe was made and he can get the right size as easily as the man
in New York and Chicago.
It is difficult to name any great and widespread industry that
uses machinery in production, with the exception perhaps of the
newspaper printing industry, which has not arrived at a system of
standard sizes of parts. Standardization, however, can only be
brought about by concert of all concerned, and this concert of
player manufacturers has seemed impossible in the past, but it is
getting feasible and probable.
There is nothing impossible nowadays. The Panama Canal is
being built, and rapidly at that, and the Wright boys are taking spins
around the upper regions in a manner little dreamed of a few years
ago. Standardization of everything is becoming more and more a
necessity. Even the Newspaper Publishers' Association is looking
ahead to the establishment of standard size for newspapers.
S
smoke them out."
So he poured burning sulphur into their holes.
He killed off the rats, but he burnt up the house.
THE BETTER PART.—Mrs. Hicks was telling some ladies about the
burglar scare in her house the night before.
"Yes," she said, "I heard a noise and got up, and there, from under
:
the bed, I saw a man's legs sticking out."
"Mercy!" exclaimed a woman. "The burglar's legs?"
"No, my dear; my husband's legs. He heard the noise, too."
PHLEGMATIC BRITON.—Impatient American (after an hour's
pause)—Say, guard, what in thunder are we waiting for? What time
d' we pull out. anyway?
;
Guard (who has survived two generations of hustlers)—That all de-
pends, sir.
;
American—Depends on what?
[
\
Guard (judicially)—Ah, sir, that again depends! (
!
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IN THE JARGON OF ART.—The girl had been three weeks in the
employ of an artistic family; but her time had been by no means wasted.
Her mistress was giving her instructions as to the dinner.
h
"Don't forget the potatoes," enjoined the lady.
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"No, ma'am," was the reply; "will you 'ave 'em in their jackets for
in the nood?"—Democratic Telegram.
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;
TRUTHFUL JAMES.—Farmer—See here, boy, what yer doin' nip
that tree?
••
Boy—One of j o u r pears fell off the tree an' I'm trying to put it
back.—Brooklyn Eagle,
.
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