FU NN Y
ANY
B O N E T IC K L E R S
S I M I L A R I T Y TD P E R S O N S L I V I N G
IS P UR E L Y I NT ENTI ONAL
The song of the day is— “Aw,
leave us a loan.”
Short, Short Story!
Out on a picnic, Henry tries
to whip in the “first kiss.” How
she struggles! “No, no! You
mustn’t! I wouldn’t want you
to think I was that kind!” What
does he do? He is abashed. He
blushes. She starts planning her
trousseau.
Florist's Proposal
“ D A IS Y , you’re gorgeous;
I ’ve never ZINNIA look so beau
tiful! Be mine. I ’ll VINE you
and dine you. If I said I could
live without you I ’d LILAC hell.
Yes, I know the millionaires are
after you in PHLOX, but you
wouldn’t M A R IG O L D , would
you? Be my own little PAS
SION FLOWER and we’ll never
POT. You must ask your moth
er first? Then PETUNIA hat
and coat and go home and
ASTER. When we’re married
you can have everything you
want—VIOLET you have any
thing. We’ll sail abroad; we’ll
take a ship to some FERN port.
So pack your things tonight,
SWEET PEA, and don’t forget
your little lace-trimmed PAN
SIES*
Fam iliar Te rrito ry
First Gigolo: “I made ten
bucks petting with that fat
widow Parks. But it was a lot
of work.”
Second Gigolo: “I know. I
once had a job along those same
lines.”
Overheard in a court room as
curvaceous plaintiff was being
cross-examined: “She could win
this case with one leg tied be
hind her back.”
Movie director: “I ’m afraid
this scene won’t get by the cen
sors--- two in a tub isn’t sani
tary.”
Old Bartender: “Motoring is
surely a great thing. I used to
be fat and sluggish before the
motoring craze, but now I ’m
spry and energetic.”
Friend: “Why, I didn’t know
you motored.”
0. B.: “I don’t. I dodge.”
Teacher: “Johnny, give me an
example of rigid economy.”
Johnny: “A dead Scotchman.”
Sailor: “This is the quarter
deck.”
Sweetie: “How wonderful.
Now let’s see the fifty cent
kind.”
Sailor: “You look like a sen
sible girl. Let’s get married.”
Jane: “Nothing doing. I ’m
just as sensible as I look.”
A d vice to r Shy G irls
“Laugh at his jokes; fall for
his gags — even the lemons.
When my John pulled the old
mouse routine, I screamed in
terror: “Oh! Never frighten me
like that! I ’m such a poor, help
less, frail little child.” And
clutched him in my arms to
show him how really frightened
I was.
58
© International Arcade Museum
AUTOMATIC AGE
DR
DEAD
Gloria: “I could have married
anyone I pleased.”
Betty: “Well, why are you
still single?”
Gloria: “I guess I never
pleased anyone.”
“I finally dated Clara Belle
last night, and as I left, she let
me kiss her good-night.”
“Good work, old man.”
“Yes, it was nice going.”
Camp recreation center direc
tor to bump-dancer: “Ye gods!
The soldiers expect you to play
an accordion.”
She: “Gee, I almost had the
hide taken off because of my
sun-bathing.”
He: “I ’ll bet the sun was boil
ing hot!”
She: “No, but my old man
was.”
Mrs. Newlywed: “Darling,
I’m afraid I ’ve put too much
milk in those potatoes.”
Mr. Newlywed: “Oh, well,
we’ll drink them then.”
Judge: “Who was driving
when you hit that car?”
Drunk
(triu m p h a n tly ) :
“None of us, we were all in th’
back seat.”
Son: “Say, ma, that apple I
just ate had a worm in it, and I
ate that too.”
M a: “What? Here, drink this
water and wash it down.”
Jr.: “Aw let ’im walk down.”
November, 1941
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