Classic Mode

Automatic Age

Issue: 1931 February

14
A u t o m a t i c A ge
February, 1931
A LONGING GLANCE AT AUTOMATIC
FUTURITY
By WILLIAM G e r s h , New York City
This is the year 2010 A . D. We awake. The air is much more
invigorating this morning. W e have only a small apartment in
a middle-class neighborhood. It is on the 97th floor. The pesky
air-planes have been buzzing around all morning. Sometimes peo­
ple shout to us when landing on the field of the building across the
way. The Smiths always seem to stay out late. They always catch
the last air-bus to their building. .What luck some people have.
To the bathroom. W e drop a coin in a slot and out comes a steri­
lized razor and blade. We shave. Lotion ? Another coin. W e
have a celluloid container of lotion just enough for us. Hang it—
the toothpaste is all used up! Another coin into a slot and we
have more toothpaste. Now for our mouthwash. So for a few
cents into our ultra modem slot machine service we have completed
our toilet.
W hy bother about breakfast? Out into the hall, where we come
across some of the other thousands of tenants, and to the automatic
machines at the end of the corridor. A few morecoins, and we
carry back a tray of breakfast. Wonder why the landlord never
thinks of placing some different rolls in the machines? So we eat.
The morning paper? Another coin and it is ours. W e are run­
ning short of coin. So to the change machine at the end of the
corridor, insert a larger coin, and we receive a number of smaller
ones. Satisfactory for the present. Now to the door. A coin opens
the container, and also acts as final payment, our suit is returned
to us cleaned and pressed. We deposited it there last night. So to
the compartment at the bottom of the door. W e place annther coin.
A fast whirling, swishing noise. W e place our shoes in. In a few
moments they are cheerfully, and excellently polished for us.
W e are at last ready to enter the outer world. W e buzz the
elevator button. (Ought to take the express car. Gets you there
more quickly). It arrives at last. W e push another button and we
find ourselves on the roof, 150 stories above the ground. W e press
the signal light. The next air-bus stops at the landing. W e get in.
Drop a coin in the box, and away we go.
© International Arcade Museum
http://www.arcade-museum.com/
February, 1931
A u to m a tic A ge
15
The air-bus stops. We are at the terminal. We leave the morn­
ing paper behind us as do hundreds of others on the same bus. The
porters will clear them away. And make a handsome profit from
their resale. We are again in an elevator. A t the office on the
200th floor. Rather cool here.
Our tobacco has run low. So we go out into the hall and drop
a coin in a machine there— presto— tobacco. So to work.
Dinner time. We again go into the hall. We manipulate the
various machines in the corridor, and with our tray on our arm
we enter the dining hall. Thousands of others are already there.
We have just changed a larger coin again. There are no paper
bills. What a queer thing that must have been.
I was taught in my history class that in the year 1931 A . D.,
when this country was very young, they used paper money. They
also had to walk on the ground like the other lower orders of life.
I wonder what it feels like to walk on earth? I haven’t been on
earth since we inspected the foundation of our new building. We
wore gas masks. The odors were terrible.
So back to work. Four o’clock. Time for somes weets. To the
nail again, another coin in a slot, and we have procured our
favorite.
Queer thoughts while eating. How could paper money have been
used in those crude machines they had in those days. Possibly they
had some sort of coins also. Wonder if they thought living would
ever be like this? I read that they even had such things as stores
and clerks. How inefficient. Wonder why they couldn’t see these
advantages ? I have even read that slot machines were condemned
y certain institutions. Where did they buy their food? Food
tores. Wonder what they looked like?
People are still old-fashioned. We say to bring all the machines
into every apartment. It will save walking time. They claim that
e servicing and the expenditure would be too great to warrant
e change. They also claim that the system they are using at
Present is not as yet perfected for the doors of apartments. Oh,
WeU, it takes a hundred years to change for the better.
I
wonder if that new machine our company has in mind will
really produce fried egg sandwiches as well as our competitors?
e have sold 4,000,000 already without the machine as yet com­
P eted. These operators are always in a hurry. Suggest that the
nrm again refer to the A u t o m a t i c A g e for statistics. Where is
he latest issue ? So to the hall and the slot machine again, and we
&et the latest issue.
© International Arcade Museum
http://www.arcade-museum.com/

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