Automatic Age

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he
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u t o m a t ic
Well, Hardly
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down to breakfast late, her
kiss er asked: “ Did that young man
«Nyou last night?”
mother, do you suppose he
to in i
way from Bueons Aires
l00k at the gold fish?”
We V*f^0r being shown around the
the guide how deep it was.
not v ’ sir>” was the reply, “ we do
yeaj n°w t*le actual depth, but last
t0 u a young Australian came here
dived
took his clothes off and
aeain«»in’ and we never saw him
j ag^j^ ^id you never hear from h'm
4*oC
fro
yes, we had a cablegram
* * * * * * * * ask*n® us to sen<*
SA»
Onl,'’1'eet Urchin — “ Paper, mister?
y two cents.”
t6rje^ }s(~-“ Has dere been any rob-
j‘
—“ No.”
Ues “ j\ny lynchings?”
J- u - - “ No.”
°Hes- “ Has anybody died?”
?* U- - “ No.”
< ^ - “ IS dere any change in the
?' lJ— “ No.”
the °t?.es~~“ Has Uncle B'm married
« Widow Zander?”
for
—“ You ought to be arrested
^hat-Selling stuff like that- Thi? k
S q « j . * might have bought.”— Mis-
^ Outlaw.
A Happy Choice
jj^istress— “ You can have this hat,
^°lds. I shall not wear it again.”
iHU er Maid—“ That is kind of you,
»*i. it's the very one my young
likes me in best!”— Pearson’s
e<% .
© International Arcade Museum
A
75
ge
Coupaying
“ Do I bore you?” asked the mos­
quito politely as he sank a deep shaft
into the man’s leg.
“ Not at all,” replied the man,
smacking him with a book. “ By the
way, how do I strike you?”
He—“ Her neice is rather good
looking, eh?”
Him— “ Don’t say knees is, say
knees are.”— Leatherneck.
Nurse (returning from party) —
“ Good gracious. How sticky your
glove is.”
Child—“ So would yours be if you
had a meringue and two chocolate
eclairs in your muff.”
Not a Typographical Error
Ralph Burkholder, of Topeka, has
discovered a slot machine wit. Some
one who dropped a dime in the per­
fume machine for men in the base­
ment of the Hotel Jayhawk and
found no perfume, pinned the fol­
lowing warning on a card: “ Out of
Odor.”— Topeka (Kan.) Journal.
They were talking about trees.
“ My favorite,” she said, “ is the
oak. It's so noble, so magnificent, in
its strength. But what is your fa­
vorite?”
“ Yew,” he replied.
And Howl
“ I don’t suppose she suffered any
after effects of her operation?”
“ No, but everybody else did.”—
Judge.
A gossip writer mentions a circus
sword-swallower who has been ill ow­
ing to overwork. It is said that the
doctors have put him on a light diet
of used safety-razor blades.— Punch,
London.
—
“ Do you take this woman for but­
ter or for wurst?”
“ Oh, liver alone. I never sausage
nerve!”
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