Automatic Age

Issue: 1927 May

70
T he A
u t o m a t ic
A
ge
Youngster: “ Five cents worth o f
castor oil, please.”
Druggist: “ The tasteless kind, I
presume.”
Youngster: “ No, sir, it's fo r fath­
om ”
A certain newspaper that made a
practice o f answering inquiries from
readers received this one:
“ Please tell me what is the matter
with my chickens. They go to roost
apparently well. The next morning
we find one or more on their backs
on the floor, stiff, combs white, and
the feet in the air.”
It was the editor’s busy day, and
this was the answer his reader re­
ceived :
“ Dear sir, your chickens are dead.”
Judge
(to
convicted b u rg la r):
“ Have you anything to say before
sentence is passed.”
Burglar: “ The only thing I'm
kicking about is bein' identified by a
man that kept his head under the bed
clothes the whole tim e!”
Two famers met on the road and
pulled up.
“ Si, I ’ve got a mule with distem­
per. W hat’d ye give that one o’
yours when he had it? ”
“ Turpentine. Giddap.”
A week later they met again.
“ Say, Si, I gave my mule turpen­
tine and it killed him.”
“ Killed mine, too. Giddap.”
The proprietor o f an inn at Diko-
vina, in the Trans-Baikal territory o f
Siberia, provided her customers with
‘whale steaks’ from a mysterious
source o f supply, which on investiga­
tion proved to be the carcass o f a
mammoth preserved by the arctic
cold fo r nearly 20,000 years.
Gum
Buyer
H a v e
Y o u
N e w
T ried
th e
“ Im p r o v e d "
I t c o m b in e s e v ery
d e s ir a b le fe a tu r e
_______________
.
H IG H
P O L IS H ,
U N IF O R M IT Y
M id » J t l t f
D E L IC IO U S
CHEW ,
W e o ffe r op e ra to r*
m o s t f o r t h e ir m o n e y !
P R I C E S F . 0 . B . F a cto ry
O n e C a s o (1 0 ,0 0 0 b a l l s ) ............. - ..........................
F iv e C t a e s -----------------------------------------------------------*
T e n C a ses o r m o r e ____ _______________________
© International Arcade Museum
^
Above Prices are net. 2% discoU**
allowed if full remittance is se
with order.
D. Rabbins
&
Go.
Manufacturers
y
23 Dodworth St. Brooklyn, N. * ’
„ for
W e h a v e o r ig in a t e d a c o ll e c t io n syste™ 104f
o p e r a to r s .
I t o o n s is ts
o f a le a t h e r
lo p 1*
b o o h a n d 50 " S y s t e m ” o a rd s .
V e r y u s e fu * e%-
n e c e s s a r y fo r k e e p in g a r e c o r d o f collection ® '
p en ses, p r o fits , c t o ,— P r ic e $1 .5 0 f o r c o m p le x ’
tom nr s e n t F r e e w ith a t r ia l o r d e r f o r
°
B r a n d " B a ll G um .
USE T H IS O R D E R BLANJ4
FO R F R E E COLLECTION
SYSTEM
(O n ly
One
to
a
C u tto m e r )
D. Robbinss & Co.
e
Gentlemen: — Enclosed $ ed,0{
find money order or check .
$14.70. Please ship at once *
___________one case o f “ C H E W
B R A N D ” Ball Gum. Include ^
lection system Free.
N a m e ________________________ —
The arc welder is supplanting the
noisy riveter in the erection o f mod­
ern steel buildings.
t j,jO
I N B U L K — 125 B a ll s th e P O U N D -
50 p o u n d s , 2 0 c p e r lb . “ 100 p o u n d s 1®°
l b . — 300 p o u n d s , o r M o r e , 17c p e r p ou n d -
S t r e e t _____________________
City & State ______________
http://www.arcade-museum.com/
T
he
A
The girl who makes her own
clothes will certainly never die from
overwork.
“ W hat sort o f a chap is Jack,
dear?”
“ Well, when we were to­
gether last night, the lights went out,
and he spent the rest o f the evening
repairing the fu se !”
“ I believe we are descended from
monkeys.”
“ If
that’s true,
your
grandfather was probably a gorilla.”
‘ That doesn't worry me.’
“ No, but it did your grandmoth­
er.”
. In a will case the plaintiff, when
.ls name was called, stood up in the
JtUry box. “ W hy,” said the judge,
^hat are you doing there?”
‘I was chosen, your Honor, to
Sei^e on the jury.”
Blink— “ Is W hoozis stingy?”
Blank— “ Say, hes so tight when
you go out with him he leaves his
suspenders and belt home so he’ll
have to keep his hands in his pock­
ets.”
‘But,” said the judge, “ that was a
^take, of course. Surely you must
that you cannot sit on a jury
o
t
i
c
e
o
71
ge
and try your own case?”
“ W ell,” admitted the plaintiff, rue­
fully, “ I thought it was a bit o f
luck.”
Jack Donahue, now at the Illinois
Nteatre in Chicago in “ Sunny,” takes
rjtoe from his gambols with Marilyn
^Uer to tell this: “ Scotchman hap-
j*®ned to be a volunteer fireman in
*j's native village. His wife was
tying in their little cottage and her
j|Usband sat by her bedside, holding
er hand. Suddenly the fire bell rang
was the call o f duty tearing
away from his beloved wife.
,ve got to leave you, darling,” he
Sa^ , shaking his head sadly. “ It’s a
CaU from the department and I’ve
Sot to go. I hope you get over your
, ness, Martha, but, if you should
.ee5 yourself slipping before I get
&ck— please blow out the candle.”
N
A
u t o m a t ic
f
R
e
m
o
v
a
l
T h e N ew H om e o f
A
u
t
o
m
a
t
i
c
A
g
e
is
2239 S o. M ic h ig a n A v e n u e ,
© International Arcade Museum
C h ic a g o
http://www.arcade-museum.com/

Download Page 70: PDF File | Image

Download Page 71 PDF File | Image

Future scanning projects are planned by the International Arcade Museum Library (IAML).

Pro Tip: You can flip pages on the issue easily by using the left and right arrow keys on your keyboard.