T he
A
u t o m a t ic
A ge
77
A PAGE OF FUN
This Is Pretty Good
Tenderfoot — How can you get
down off an elephant?
Lightweight— You can’t. You have
to get it off a goose.
The Puritans hated bear-baiting,
not because it gave pain to the bear,
but because it gave pleasure to the
spectators.— Macaulay.
The Irish Always Win
“ Bridget, I don’t want you to have
So much company. Why, you have
more callers in a day than I have in
a week.”
“ Well, mum, if you’d try to be a
little more agreeable, you’d have as
many friends as I have.”
The man who smokes thinks like a
sage and acts like a Samaritan.—
Lytton.
_
The Greatest Race:— Little Tom
my was a bright young lad at Sunday
School. He always seemed to be so
attentive, and his teacher, as she
looked at his golden curls and his
angel face, often wondered if Tommy
need be instructed at all. One after
noon teacher was telling all about
the heathen and their wrong-doings.
Tommy seemed greatly impressed
■with this, and so it was of him that
teacher asked: “ Tommy, what is the
greatest race in the world?” Some
how, the good lady felt that he would
reply, “ The Christian.” But she was
'Wrong. “ The Derby,” responded the
little angel.
A Tip:— Golfer (after a long after
noon on the links)): “ I’ll gie ye a
tip, laddie.” Caddie: “ Thank you,
sir.”
Golfer
(continuing):
“ Go
straight hame. Yon ring round the
moon means rain.”
© International Arcade Museum
Following Instruction
Farmer— Hithere! What are you
doing up in my cherry tree?
Youngster— Dere’s a notice down
dere to keep off de grass.
Fortune is not on the side of the
faint-hearted.— Sophocles.
Cured
“ It looks as if Jones is better sat
isfied with his wife.”
“ Yes, he is. You see, he went back
home on a visit and saw the girl he
had been dreaming about and talking
about for the past twenty years.”
An agi’eeable companion on a jour
ney is as good as a carriage.— Publius
Syrus.
Charity
Dauber— I’d like to devote my last
picture to a charitable purpose.
Critic— Why not give it to an insti
tution for the blind?
Daring the Joyrider
A junk shop near a railroad cross
ing in Denver carries a sign with this
hint to motorists: “ Go ahead; take
a chance. W e’ll buy the car.”
The Minority
“ Everybody knows about it. Some
people take her part and some take
her husband’s part.”
“ And I presume there are a few
eccentric individuals who mind their
own business.”
Somewhat mixed:— A chemist re
ceived a note scribbled in haste. It
read: “ My baby has eat up his fath
er’s parish plaster. Send an anecdote
quick by the enclosed girl. Also send
bottle of O Dick Alone, as I am fuel
ing a bit historical.”
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